#i’ll probably delete this later and no i won’t say who it is but y’all can probably assume through context clues if u know who i regularly

[monsterfuckermilligan]

a rant

this is semi personal lmao but it still kinda pisses me off that i was blocked and unfriended (because we were genuinely friends!) by a mutual who i’ve had for like a year because i’m ship and let ship live while also not being a wincestie or shipping winkline. and the reason that this pisses me off is because more than one of our mutual friends is the same way but because i answered a winkline ask and went “idc” and told a wincestie they can interact with my blog, then i’m dmed and told my beliefs go against their morals.

[seo-changbinnies]

.

[doublel27]

Knight in Shining Armor - T - 3K (part 2)

TK Strand/Carlos Reyes - Hospitalizations - 3x04 CODA/Deleted Scene - bad nurses

Read on AO3 Part 1 TK POV Something grazes the back of his hand and Carlos shoots up instantly. For a horrible moment, he isn’t sure where or when he is beyond the hospital chair and TK could be anywhere between life and death. But when he settles and focuses, TK's green eyes are staring at him through heavy lids, and there’s just a nasal cannula instead of the vent. Carlos squeezes the hand in his as the last twenty-four hours come back.

“Hey babe,” Carlos says, shifting closer to the bed. “Thought you might sleep a little longer. You were just out for the MRI an hour ago.”

Since TK came back yesterday, and there’s no other way Carlos can explain it, there have been waves of people, coming in and occasionally taking TK out with them. There’s also been the drifting of friends in and out in the brief periods where TK is somewhat alert. Currently, it’s just them, and that’s more than enough.

TK looks off somewhere and shifts back to Carlos. “Not dreaming?”

“What, dreaming about me?” Carlos asks, offering a smile. Then the thought comes that in some other universe this was the dream and…Carlos shudders rather than invite that into reality. This reality is hard enough. “No, this is horrifyingly real, TK. I would appreciate it if we could start going at least an entire year between hospital stays.”

“Doghouse,” TK murmurs, his mouth lifting into a ghost of a smirk.

“You’re on—” Carlos stops himself from finishing the familiar phrase. His voice cracks like the words he was about to say. Thin ice is what brought them here and Carlos would prefer to never be on it again.

“Probation,” he says finally, swallowing heavily. “We’ll see how this period goes.”

TK flutters his eyes closed. “Yes, officer.”

Carlos feels the tears start to well up again but he laughs right over them, filled with joy. Having TK back is a miracle. Having the TK who flirts with him again, well, Carlos has been waiting on him longer than two days. Everyone has tried to coax him into going home, changing, showering, sleeping in a bed. He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want to go home to his mostly empty house. He’s been waiting for TK all this time and, now that he has him, Carlos isn’t going anywhere.

“So,” he says, continuing to talk even though TK’s eyes remain closed. TK seems to listen and drift in and out of these moments. “Paul might be getting released today. They’re checking on his core temperature. How the two guys from the cold cities ended up…I’ll never know. It’s probably y’alls bravado.” TK is Icarus, always flying a little close to the sun and singeing his wings. “He’ll be back by later.”

Carlos runs a hand over TK’s hair, just because he can. It seems to smooth out the furrow that was developing between his brows. “Marjan and Nancy insisted on breakfast. Honestly, I think my mom talked them into getting breakfast so she could pick up lunch. You’re still on a liquid diet though, TK. Sorry about that. They might move you off of clear liquids soon. I know how you feel about Jell-O. I’ve ordered them to pick up your tea, minus boba, minus the taro root. It won’t really be your usual order.”

Carlos keeps talking about something Nancy said about game night and wonders in his head if they’ll have the next one in the loft, and segues into the fight his parents had about his mom coming to sit by TK’s bedside through the snow after his dad had insisted she stay home. “You should have heard her, ‘If you think some snow was going to keep me from my boys when they needed me.’ She really loves you.”

There’s a disturbance behind him and Carlos glances toward the door. Two women in scrubs have come in and one is updating the board. The name Janine goes up and Carlos is suddenly dragged back to waiting in the doorway yesterday morning with these two women exiting. He’s out of his seat in a second.

“No,” he says, his throat dry as sandpaper. It could have been a whisper or a shout. All he knows is they cannot come in.

In the distance he thinks he hears TK murmur “baby” but the blood is rushing in his ears and the urge to yell and hit something is welling up. Instead, Carlos grinds his teeth and glares at the two women who have entered TK’s room.

“Get out.”

Not-Janine says, “Sir—we said we were sorry about—”

Continue reading on AO3

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-Yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 1

It’s been a while since I visited the many times Yugi should have gone to jail, AKA season Zero, and I’m excited to visit it again.

If you just got here, this is Season Zero, which is very different vibe and a different direction plotwise than the other seasons and you can read the season zero recaps from the start in chrono order here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi%20muto/chrono

So be warned, this is a 90′s anime, and it will do 90′s anime things, and I expect y’all reading this aren’t like 12.

Like I said in an earlier post, I wrote this out fully when I was going through the symptoms from my second dose--which PS, is worth it--but those symptoms knocked me out for 10 days. I was kind of a space cadet, and yo, I made some mistakes. Including writing this post out in full and then not clicking “save” on this post and then not realizing I had done that until several days later.

So long story short, I don’t remember what I originally wrote here, but lets all assume it was weird, and didn’t make sense and wasn’t funny. We’ll just assume this was for the best that it was deleted forever.

So this episode is about 2 things: Yo-yos and Jounouchi. Both get used as a tool for violence, and both need to get just a little bit cursed by Yugi to scale it the hell back. So, understandably, we start off this episode with Jounouchi, who has eagerly identified with this off brand yo-yo he apparently got out of a dumpster for being just a huge ass defect.

(more Yo-Yo crimes under the cut)

I see you dodging copyright infringement, Yugioh. Eireboy.

Also whenever I read “Eireboy” I do it in my mind in the same pacing and vocal tones that Pegasus uses to say “Kaiba boy.” Something about it’s conjunction to Yugioh, I see anything with “boy” at the end of it, and it’s voiced by a weird guy with one eye.

So I wrote these caps under the influence of my second dose, just assuming y’all understand the life I lived, but I realized writing this episode...traveling bands of yo-yo performers that go to your school and shill yo-yos with yo-yo shows in the hopes that it will get you so obsessed with yo-yos that you will not join a gang and do drugs and have sex may be just an American thing.

So when I saw a yo-yo episode I was like “Tight! Clearly, the yo-yo clowns have come to town!” and I assumed everyone in this class would be draped in yo-yos, because I just assumed that at some point at School you will get MAD OBSESSED with yo-yos for about 2 weeks.

But in this episode, everyone was like “Jounouchi, why are you playing with a random yo-yo?” and it didn’t occur to me until typing this out just now: only Jounouchi is doing this. He did this unprompted, without the encouragement of a bunch of middle aged performers doing tricks to techno music.

So instead, I have to think of Jounouchi as Ralphie in this scenario, and he just got a official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for Christmas, but he’s gonna shoot his eye out.

Because yo-yos in this episode are basically guns.

...Kind of like a duel deck was also just a gun...

...or the wands in Harry Potter...

...which honestly...I’ve probably said this before but where I’m from, we just use straight up guns in these elaborate analogies because we freakin have to make the point crystal clear. The moment Ralphie finally got his hands on a bb-gun, he very nearly shot his eye out and broke his glasses. And that scene will haunt me until my dying day...

...but fine, we can use yo-yos, I guess it works, although to me, yo-yo’s are just teachers hoping you’ll become such a dork that no gang will accept you (and then in this universe, it does the opposite? So freakin weird).

The beginning of this episode is Jounouchi trying do his best to impress with his skills, but in actuality, getting very close to clubbing Anzu with a yo-yo. And, while Anzu is the strongest person in Yugioh in the later seasons, I feel like Season Zero Anzu is another level. It’s a serious tempt of fate that Jounouchi is doing, so Honda wisely cuts him off from doing any more of that so she won’t end up strangling yet another person in broad daylight in the middle of school.

Remember your yo-yo safety, children.

Straight up, Honda’s version of yo-yo safety is to just Never Use a Yo-Yo and that’s the most gun safety thing ever that they’ve slipped into this Yugioh Episode. I almost expected Yuugi to pull a “well, actually, I use a hunting yo-yo to get enough venison to feed my family.” But youknow, he lives in a city, so while Yugioh is pretty weird and Yuugi has to worry about a lot of things--he doesn’t have to worry about that.

This is actually foreshadowing, which I only realized in hind sight, mostly because I just can’t associate a Yo-yo with crime. Joey knowing how to use a yo-yo was foreshadowing that he was absolutely part of this gang in a past life.

Yeah that one went completely over my head the first time and the second time and it really wasn’t until just now that I finally caught it. Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder why y’all let me analyze this show.

Jounouchi decides to confront the yo-yo bandits and everyone else is like “Silly Jounouchi, he’s not gonna do that. That would be stupid.” And...in S0, they don’t know him well enough yet to know that he really is that much of a well meaning dumbass.

I think a S1-5 Yugi would have been sprinting out the door to keep Joey from killing himself (again), but Season Zero Yuugi had hope that Jounouchi would just naturally tucker out and fall asleep or something.

And he was so wrong.

Anzu’s “New Tricks” line was from the dub itself and man that’s a good line. I love Anzu’s sass in Zero.

So, Honda decides to help them find Jounouchi so all of them together could give Jounouchi an intervention for skipping school. This is the same Honda that once skipped school to babysit a tomagachi and said it was because of “Maternity leave,” but don’t worry about the hypocrisy, because from this episode we learned that Jounouchi needs a very short leash.

So this episode is a great Jounouchi episode to explain stuff that still hasn’t been explained in 5 seasons of Yugioh. In S1-5, we don’t get much about his home life other than his Mom left and his Sister lives far away and is like sickly as hell. We know nothing else. But this is the episode where we finally get to find out why Yuugi and his Grandfather decided to basically adopt him from S1 onward.

Yugioh is tackling some pretty heavy territory, but I respect the show for not trying to magically change Jounouchi’s parents like they did to Dartz. Instead, the crew decide to reach out and try to find their friend who clearly didn’t go home last night (and won’t be going back for a while), by checking every alleyway in Domino.

Fun fact Yuugi drops this episode, Domino is one of the biggest cities on Earth. This makes the Battle City Tournament even more crazy when you realize Kaiba shut down several blocks but, it also makes a tiny bit more sense how we have so many Millennium items in one place. (Yet...it still doesn’t explain Bakura and Joey’s accent.) And, I guess if your city is just extra large, you get an extra large warehouse district, too.

Speaking of, they eventually find Jounouchi at his new (but also old) crime antics mugging some random stranger next to this Game store that I just realized was cropped so it looks like it says “GANG.”

Say hello to our crime clown. He’s sort of like a discount joker, and that beanie is...man it is green.

I forget this green exists sometimes, but Season Zero has it as one of their prime colors. Good ol’ Retro Kaiba green.

I’m a little tempted to swatch Season Zero a bit and figure out their full color scheme--it’s really saturated, which is interesting when you compare it to the later seasons which are a lot more muted since...the 00′s were like that, they greyed a lot of colors out. But I’ll do it later if I do, maybe another post for another day.

Jounouchi and Honda, before they moved to the school with Yuugi in it, used to go to the same school and up until now I just assumed they were close friends. But apparently they were a lot more distant than that. I’m sure they met up several times as Jounouchi destroyed stuff and Honda came along in his volunteer janitor outfit to put the stuff the hell back, and maybe that’s how they got to know eachother better?

But basically, Jounouchi was the freakin worst, and Jounouchi’s best friend was Hirotani--this 45 year old 15 year old with the blue pony and turquoise fade--and Honda has SO MUCH hot goss to say about it.

I really get the gist that Honda may not have liked anyone else at his old school, like at all. Like maybe Honda likes cleaning up trash so much because his school was just trash top to bottom.

As is tradition, Yuugi got his tar beat in by Hirotani. Another concussion to add to his list of issues to tell his future therapist that lives in that puzzle he wears around his neck.

I still expect him to do a double cross, but it seems they wanted to keep it a relatable and more realistic fall-out, where Jounouchi has just bounced on them without even a goodbye. He and his Dad had a bad fight, and Jounouchi was like “well so long to all of this and everyone that has anything to do with it.”

In later seasons, Joey is the one trying to save other people. He’s saving his Sister, he’s saving Mai, he’s saving Yugi, but in this season Jounouchi’s friends had to save Jounouchi from himself a few times now.

I like this depth to his character, I’ll be honest. I can understand why S1-5 don’t touch on it, and I don’t think it’s because they didn’t want to have an abusive Dad storyline, because they did that several times over with Seto Kaiba (man the Dad situation in Yugioh is DIRE.) Instead they probably just felt like Season Zero already did it, so why do it again?

It’s just a shame that it wasn’t talked about in the other seasons. Joey makes a lot more sense to me now because we get to see why Jounouchi is so hard set on saving people. S4 Mai Valentine, who ditched everyone and joined a gang? That’s basically a Joey move, and that was why Joey Wheeler was all over that.

Really would have added a lot to that particular arc if the show...actually talked about Joey’s history at all rather than assume I would have watched something that was never released in the States. Instead...it just looked a lot like he had only romantic motivations, which may not have been what they were going for.

Speaking of romantic, check out this sunset. Like the sun is exploding for some reason--just a wild sunset you only see for a still frame before a commercial break.

As Joey, youknow, takes on an entire rival gang single-handedly.

Hey guys, I lived near a pretty big city most of my life and I have been on a roof...once. Just the one time when I was doing an internship in SF with a painter and we needed to take a reference photo of his painting for a gallery (and it was hella sketch, and we weren’t exactly allowed up there). Who are all these people giving teens Roof Access? It’s so hard to get! Even if you live in an apartment of a tall building, I can count on zero of my fingers the amount of times I was allowed on that roof. But TV shows and movies--they freakin love roof gardens and roof hangouts and roof fights.

Am I missing out?? How did y’all get on the ROOF? I know I’m on S5 of Yugioh now and I have seen a lot of roof stuff, but like...is this normal for everyone else? I know there’s schools that have roof sport--that’s common in the city everywhere--but that’s like...specialized roofs with 30 ft chainlink fencing and really good supports to your body doesn’t fall straight through it when you jump too much. The hell is using their normal ass roof?

This gang should have their legs swinging halfway into the floor below them, is all I’m saying, if my roof couldn’t handle our solar heating, then a normal ass roof cannot support a gang fight.

But it does look really, really cool.

Anyway, Anzu does some offscreen snooping and finds out where the crime hangs out, and suggests that we step right into crime zone and just yank Jounouchi out of there. Which is something you would only do and say if you were Anzu and cannot fear death.

If it were Jay’s it would be with an ‘s. That’s how you do a plural Jay. But it’s the 90′s, so we put a “z” on the end of everything that should have been an “s” and that’s how you get the...

I mean, thank you, dubbers, for not saying “Jizz” but for reals...that be Jizz.

Please don’t flag me, Tumblr. (which, PS, I think they turned off the flagbot, Tumblr hasn’t flagged me in forever and I’m so thankful. Mods are asleep, we can talk about anime again)

So even though Honda decided that he was fed up with Jounouchi and didn’t want to save his ass, he decided to give it another go but complete with some new sash. He also did this without telling any of the others, who just kinda spectated him for a little while.

Honestly, if they weren’t laughing at him, I wouldn’t have known that this sash was any weirder than any of his other sashes. I don’t know really know what a school uniform should look like. It’s a shame, I feel like this series has a lot of jokes and puns probably soaring right over my head.

A little bit embarrased he was caught being vulnerable, Honda decides to give us a little more context to why he ever decided to give Jounouchi the time of day in the first place.

They had PE class once, and Honda apparently loves the hell out of PE. Jounouchi ran really fast in a straight line that one time, and that is why he’s trustworthy friend material. He just needs to stop joining gangs, and he’ll be solid.

I have no idea if the fandub put that in there or if that was native to the show, but Miho legit stans Honda/Jounouchi and acts as if she’s off to write some fanfiction about it. Honestly if she did, it would make her so much more interesting of a character.

And so, until next time, we shall have to wait and see exactly what Yami Yuugi is going to do with a freakin Yo-yo and I’m sure it’s all sorts of real effed up. Excited to get there, honestly. A shame it had to happen on the part that isn’t dubbed yet, but I’ve done these subbed before, it’ll be fine!

[nekomamiiz]

hey y’all i just wanna come on here and say that i’m gonna be going on a mini hiatus

lately i’ve been finding less and less inspiration to write and when i do find time to sit on a doc, i don’t like anything that i put down and delete it right after. the kuroo fic i’ve been working on (since before his birthday) has been driving me up the wall because i really want to finish it, i just don’t have any time or inspiration.

a lot of things have been going on too that just threw me way off (none of it is bad, it’s actually pretty good. i just don’t know how to handle all of that with school, work and my dog)

i’ll probably be active here and there on the dash (reblogging art or fics to read later) but as of right now, i don’t see myself writing anything any time soon, or even completing the wips i have now.

to all my moots… i’m so sorry for being so crappy at replies. i’ve turned all my notifs off on every device so i really only see messages when i open the site which isn’t very often anymore. i love my little community and will definitely be back when things calm down for me. but it won’t be for some time.

to my followers… thank you for supporting me. and to the ones who have been around since i started out, thank you so much and i love you all!

i’ll definitely be back and i might rebrand as well! i just don’t feel excited to write anymore (which is completely okay because im excited about my life right now and that’s all that’s matters to me)

i hope you all can forgive me, as of now nekomamiiz will be an inactive blog but i won’t be going anywhere!

until next time!

izzy ❤️

[alexseanchai]

Fanfic 2020 in Review

I got tagged by @kasienda @noirshitsuji and @marvelousmsmol and I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

*filters own works to complete and updated in 2020*

1 - 20 of 57 Works by AlexSeanchai

nope. *adds filter to include only works of at least 1000 words*

unless otherwise indicated, these are all Miraculous Ladybug:

“don’t bake it lying down”, post-reveal Marichat vs Felix Graham de Vanily

“veracity”, canon divergence from “Ladybug” featuring Mister Bug and Verity Queen (so also Marichat, I guess)

“(no request is too extreme, if) your heart is in your dream”, in which Hawkmoth wins, for the thirty seconds or so before Emilie saves Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives

“tell me you love me and make me believe it”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire ropes Ladybug into helping plan her civilian self’s escape slash social transition

“kingmaker, oathbreaker”, in which Hawkmoth wins and Emilie watches her son remove himself from the family

“stay and let me watch you break it down” (Twelve Dancing Princesses), a modern setting

“set a course for winds of fortune”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire has already escaped and Gabriel and Nathalie are trying to bring Gabriel’s son home

“we ground love in a hopeless place”, in which post-reveal Marinette’s attempt to remain resolutely not in love with her partner dissolves like sugar in coffee when they start a pun war

“ring the bells that still can ring”, in which Alya is deeply confused about why Adrien and Marinette are planning a wedding when last night both were single

“burning wishes at both ends (the cold wind and long loud wail remix)”, in which Gabriel made a monkey’s paw wish and Emilie makes another

“words cannot espresso”, in which Marinette’s OC roommate is justifiably worried for Marinette’s safety, and meanwhile Adrien takes care of Marinette

“the compromise of truth” (the chronologically second-earliest part posted to date of nine lives, snake’s eyes), in which Adrien tells his friends how he won some freedom and respect from his father

“At The Present Time”, the Ladrien/Ladynoir marriage proposal follow-up to @art-deco-shrimp‘s  “Your Presents Required”

“j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”, in which the events of canon must just have been a series of dream sequences, Marinette and Adrien both think, until they both arrive at Chloe’s Halloween masquerade dressed as themselves from the dreams

2) Number of words written:

ahahaha no. I am not counting all my scattered fic drafts and trying to figure out what I did and didn’t write in 2020. I refuse.

AO3 says I posted 162K in 2020. it is counting all of keeps you guessing (like any real love), which (a) I started posting in 2019 (b) is co-written by @galahadwilder​; it is counting all of my meta snippets collection, much of which was written in 2019; it is counting the Vimeo passwords for my vids. but I probably cleared 150K by a safe margin.

3) Your most popular fic:

“veracity” has a four-digit kudos count, wow, when’d that happen? this is also the 2020 work with the most hits and the most bookmarks, but “tell me you love me” has four-thirds as many comments as its nearest competitor.

4) Your personal fav:

“cannot break us, not with a thousand swords”, no question about it. this is the one in which Ladybug proposes marriage to Chat Noir via Princess Bride meme on Tumblr. (if you intend to download the work or otherwise to consume it with creator style off, you want the accessible version instead of the primary version.)

5) Your fav scene:

aaaaaaaaa

—okay so this is cheating and I know it, since Uncertain Humors (the one where Marinette/Adrien is both Orpheus/Eurydice and Theseus/Ariadne) is nowhere near finished, never mind posted (maybe I'll get “Sanguine” done to post on my birthday?)

but it is still my favorite of the year. as you might guess from that description of the story, this scene has content notes for character death:

Hell is a maze. Marinette walks.

This acrid passage has little to see but damp stone, seeming blood-stained in the dim carmine light. At about the height of her heart, the faintly glowing thread cuts through the not-clammy air; it ought to be pulsing at the same rate as the heart it's bound to. She might be able to see her own reflection if she looked down at the open sewage pipe, or at one of the puddles that now and again she splashes through, dampening the canvas of her shoes. She might see reflected what's behind her.

She remembers Mme. Mendeleiev lecturing on human physiology. In healthy humans old enough to have learned how, urination is a voluntary action: one may not know which muscles one tenses and relaxes in order to do so, and probably isn't paying attention to those details when one is doing, but one has conscious control over whether one does. Usually. Stress and anxiety mean some people are unable to relax the relevant sphincter muscle and others are unable to stop themselves. It's voluntary for cats, too: it's one way they mark their territories. Cat-boys have other ways.

There is a moment in every human life when all one's muscles relax at once. Some Parisians have had several such moments.

The thread is braided with itself around her left fourth finger, rows of tiny red half-hitch knots, and falls loosely over the back of her hand to loop twice around her wrist. She holds it wrapped between the fingers of her right hand to keep it at a constant tension, as though knitting with this insubstantial thread, so fragile for something two (two dozen, two million) lives hang from—too thin to sew with, no thicker than one strand of his hair. As she walks, she winds it around and around and around her wrist.

Between her ring finger and her right hand, it loops twice.

Marinette's shoe lands in a puddle she didn't see. The rainwater splashes soundlessly onto her bare ankle and on the stone.

(With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal— It's a very loud song.)

She walks on.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

where the firelight fades, no contest. this is the second story I’ve ever been able to stick with more than a couple hundred words past the 20K mark, but it’s easily the twentieth novel-length I’ve begun. (though also, you know that kedreeva post? well, 90K later, I’m less than 15K from completing this 10K fic! I think.) and I have been learning so much about long-form fiction.

there has also been a lot of weeping and tearing my hair. case in point: I just trashed the chapter 15 draft because I figured out the reason it wasn’t going anywhere! I can probably keep the first few hundred words of that draft without any editing, and another few hundred with some revision...

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

from “j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”:

Everything about their partnership is fragments of sentences in the dream diary Adrien writes in ultraviolet pen. Disjointed flickers of thought even when examined under the black light he hides in the snack cabinet under packets of Super Yoyo sandwich cookies and bags of cheesy Monster Munch potato chips and boxes of petit écolier butter cookies (chocolat noir)—none of which explains the gym-socks smell. All fleeting incoherent flashes, invisible between the mundane lines of La Modification shelved at his bedside between Leroux and Dumas. None of it is solid. Adrien has more proof his room's haunted.

okay let me break this down for you!

* Adrien started a dream diary to make sense of the memories

* in invisible ink, in a book that (according to Wikipedia) is thematically appropriate and won’t (if Gabriel sees it) look like anything other than Adrien developing an interest in French literature

* shelved between Phantom of the Opera and The Three Musketeers

* look I didn’t come up with the name “black light”

* or “chocolat noir” for what English speakers call “dark chocolate”, or “petit écolier” (that is, “little schoolboy”) for that sort of butter cookie

* also not my fault that “chocolat noir” sounds remarkably like “Chat Noir”, which, attentive readers may have noticed, is not a name that appears in the story after the header and before Miraculous Cure

* I found the website of a store in Boston, Massachusetts that caters to French expats, and the yo-yo cookies and the monster chips were right there in the photos, y’all

* the snack stash and the black light live in the cabinet where, in canon, the Camembert lives; yes, that cheese smells in the real world like gym socks

* this story’s akuma was not able to affect anything but squishy human memory: nobody affected remembers anything about Ladybug or Chat Noir or Hawkmoth, not in any solid way, not even when they read news articles about the subject, and this includes Marinette and Adrien not being able to see or hear or remember their own kwamis—but you know what Adrien’s Insta post about his poltergeist and Adrien’s Insta post with the floating sock don’t show and don’t explicitly refer to?

* I love this paragraph so much (my housemates may have been lovingly mocking me over it)

8) A comment that touched you:

there are people (y’all know who you are) who said y’all are studying my style. I ded of blush.

9) Something that inspired your writing:

by volume of fic drafts that can be blamed on any particular person, the winner is probably @norakwami​

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

so that longest-story-ever-written record I set in 2007 with the 89.5K story that, till where the firelight fades, was the only story I’d gotten much past 20K?

I broke that fucking record!

and then I deleted the draft of firelight chapter 15 😭

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I’m starting work on a fantasy novel, a Sleeping Beauty retelling in which I explore (among other things) the economic consequences of the king’s ordering all the spinning wheels burned, and I want to make significant progress on that. and I want to not make my hands any worse; I kind of need those!

(breaking news alert: bodies fucking suck. so does giving yourself repetitive stress injuries in doing one and a half to two people’s worth of work for an organization that was never ever going to pay you more than one person’s worth of pay.)

[sparklingpax]

Y E S id LOVE to see how you draw The Boi!!

I think you’re referring to when I posted about asking if anyone wanted me to put out a tutorial about anything so....ok! :D

Your wish is my command~

///

Uhh so for y’all other artists or people who might also see this, disclaimer again that I’m not  a professional so pls pls pls dont come at me if you see mistakes...which there are mistakes...like I’m 99.9% sure some of this isn’t really “symmetrical” or its warped weirdly because I Suck at perspective and I’m still learning! :’) 

The point of this tutorial thing is just to show my general process of how I draw Optimus (a headshot of him, just his head and neck, to be specific; his body is another, longer story o//o’’) and others’ execution of it can definitely vary. I mostly just showed the steps in which I completed the different parts of his helm. 

Which I’d also like to add that I’m an Idiot and forgot to record my screen so instead I took photos of the different compeleted steps after drawing the whole thing O//////o’’ but anyway......I do still hope this maybe sorta helps....^^’’ 

///

1.) Sketching; I like to draw a human head actually (same goes for body; I’ll start with a human form as the sketch and then do a second sketch of the armor over it before I start lining; and those dont include other sketches I do over those to clean them up....^^’’)

2.) Cleaner, More Specific sketch; This is the last sketch before lineart where I place things and color the lines so I get an idea of what the final product might look like...if I end up doing it right! I try to place everything that should be in the final, so before this are other sketches....but this is the last one. Ok. Moving on--

3.) Crest; this can move around a lot while lining the rest of the helm as you may find you’ve centered it incorrectly...or at least...that’s what happens to me...but nonetheless, I begin with the crest~

And a note about how I make it: I use the line tool to make the shape, duplicate the shape, make that one smaller, fill it in completely, then take the eraser and turn the canvas so I can erase in the lines. When you finish, it’ll look like a grill of sorts (is that the term??? O///O’’) and it saves the trouble of extra lineart,,,idk call me lazy but it looks good in the end,,,, ^^’’

4.) Top of his helm; When I draw this the first time, I close up the bottoms so I can clean them up later when I draw the other parts of his head, but as I said above, by this point I’d already finished the drawing so that’s why it looks like that, but basically, that blue part of his helmet goes next! :D I also try to do extra lines as I go along so I don’t forget later...^^’’

5.) Add in the audio receptors + Side face-plate things!! Preferably, start with the receptors, then do the side thingies. And for the grill on those, take your line tool and draw in a rectangle that follows the shape at the top but is straight on the bottom and fill it in. Then, erase the same amount of times on each side to create the same look~ Obviously, be neater than me...since this example here is kinda lopsided....but I suppose you probably get the idea.. :’3 

6.) Draw in the blue plating on his face, then the chin on a separate layer below, and on yet another layer, add the tiny blue things at the bottom. Clean up the chin lines that cross into the blue plating spaces, and that should give you this step! If that,,,makes any sense? If my rambles make it confusing, just look at the final result here and compelete the three components on three separate layers so it’s easier for you. Also, when you’re done with that, combine the side blue plating and the chin bits so you have less layers to go through in the end...if you wanna...

7.) As for the antennae things, use the line tool for sure, and erase or change the brush size up so you can play with line-weight...and again call me lazy but you can combine them when you’re done cleaning them up (again, I reccommend putting each one of these on a separate layer first so you can clean them up individually and then combine to one) and duplicate the layer for the other side. For front view, literally just flip it so it’s symmetrical, for 3-quarter, you might need to use your “transform” (hahah lol) tool to fix it a bit. Or just draw the new side in, either way, that completes step 7.

8.) Neck!! Now this wasn’t a more “serious drawing” or anything, so I kinda made a neck shape and drew in random cables and lines so it looks complicated but it’s actually not....tbh when you do draw him, you can kind of do that because ultimately, the shades of black used to color his neck area are dark enough to conceal what exactly was drawn in there so it’s not the most important thing in the world...since you’ll see there’s lining in there but it’s too hard to make out what exactly....basically, from afar, having all this “complication” will give the look that he has a complex neck area, with all these cables and wires and it looks alien! And that’s exactly what you should go for without needing to make it too hard for yourself. I remember someone told me once that in a lot of art, especially art displayed on social media or that kind of thing, you wanna focus on details but not too much; always do a double-take to see what it looks like as a thumbnail so you won’t end up stressing over every tiny miniscule detail. Idk but it seems like good advice~ 

9.) Eyes/mouth; For the eyes the only thing I wanna say is that I make a shape and fill it in. I know he has other little details surrounding his optics, but for the sake of showing you how I do this in my lil style, I like to simplify it by just making the shape and filling it in, then duplicating the layer and “gaussian blurr-ing” it so it has a softer look. The mouth is...the mouth. Do with it what you shall~

10.) Optics! The blue part! The most fun part in my opinion! I actually have a more “complicated” (not really lol) version of his eyes which I use if I’m going to color the piece or do something more “serious,” so this here’s the simplified version. Like I said with his eyes, I like to keep it simple when it comes to his eyes, since idk it just...looks good to me ^^’’ I take the pen tool and draw in two circles, ovals, whatever the shape is supposed to be. I do not use the circle tool because it feels a little.....stiff..? Idk ^^’’ But anyway, then I duplicate the layer, gaussian blur, and combine both. Another thing I like to do is change the first layer (the one that didn’t get the blur) from “normal” to “Add (Glow)” ((as it’s written in Clip Studio settings, that is)) and mess with that a little, THEN combine these layers. The last part is adding your shine bits; just take your white pen and go wild, and if you wanna, do the whole “duplicate, blur, combine” thing with the shine bits as well; it adds to the look~ 

And ofc, take away the sketch layer (but don’t delete it, just in case you need it! ^w^)

I have another process for coloring....but I didn’t include it since it’s fairly simple ^^’’

Unless you wanna see that too....but for now.....I hope you could get something out of this tutorial here! Sorry it was so long!! 

I also just realized I forgot his eyebrows, but you can add those in along with the eyes/mouth step if you don’t forget like I did...idk, for this particular look it seems not to take so much away from the drawing but....I should have remembered ahh--

Anyway! Thanks so much for asking!! And thanks to all of y’all for reading/looking through all this!! <3 

See ya around~

-Kuni :D 

[miniwolfsbane]

JWCC Sammy Gutierrez and body positivity

THIS IS VERY LONG! (I just have a lot of feelings!) Also, this is personal and doesn’t talk a lot about Sammy and is just one big rant. 

Comment I wrote on the S2 preview “Also, shout out to the creators for making Sammy heavy, but it not effecting or having anything to do with her character. OR have her be obsessed with food. I'm sure other 90s kids remember the fat kid trope. Not doing fat logic, but we've come so far from the old days! As a woman who had that kind of body type growing up (had skinny friends, developed early, etc. it all was uncomfortable for many reasons. Long story.), it's amazing to see this kind of...semi-body positivity that's quiet and unspoken in a show aimed at everyone, including girls.  If I had seen this character at 13, my mind would've been blown. Kudos!!”

I’m reeeally tired and getting to that point where I get emotional about stupid stuff. However, this isn’t that stupid...maybe? 

We’ve reached a milestone, a kind of apex in American society, where being fat is no longer a running gag and it’s celebrated to be thick and/or a healthy weight. (Not to say skinny isn’t cool and it’s sure as heck better than carry 90+ pounds if it can be helped, but, as I said on Youtube, lots of 90s fat tropes were had, were they not? Every body type has their problems, blessings, and issues.) But, health is also a big issue and losing weight is too. I’m all for losing weight, but I also know what it was like growing up a fat kid, then a fat teenager in the 90s and 2000s when we didn’t have representation and people like Tocorra Jones, Melissa McCarthy,  Ashley Graham and Rebel Wilson around to promote different body shapes and/or being a little heavy or curvy while still being healthy. (Melissa and Rebel have lost weight and I applaud them full circle!)

Anyway, It is downright uplifting to see Sammy in JWCC like this! Being “thicker” than her two female friends doesn’t slow her down or hinder her in anyway. She is not obsessed with food. She is not constantly eating. Likewise, she has an actual personality and an interesting secret and backstory. The fans seem to love her. She is not dressed immodestly and she doesn’t seem to have ANY negative opinions of her body type, for now. Likewise, in a fast paced show like this, no one is talking behind her back about her weight or eating habits (again, for now. This could change in upcoming seasons, we don’t know.) Come to that, she’s fairly intelligent and isn’t dumb. Like, how many times have we seen a fat, dumb person in a show. (I’m looking at you Chris Griffin and Cleveland Jr!) This could’ve gone SO SIDEWAYS in her character creation any number of ways and I’m just amazed it didn’t. However, this maybe is attributed to the show being an action show and not a comedy? In any case, I’m so glad girls of this generation can see it. I wish I’d had it at their age. (It’s probably because her VA is heavy, but heavier than how Sammy is portrayed, to my knowledge. I’ve only seen her years ago on Disney channel.  Who cares why? It happened and I’m glad.) Please be assured, I’m NOT trying promote fat acceptance, just inclusivity, relatability, and representation. 

Like I say all the time, I’m not super heavy. I never was. As I said in the comment, I developed early and had mostly skinny friends growing up. I remember being about 11 and hosting my first sleepover and someone pointing to my arms at my stretch marks, asking what they were. I wasn’t traumatized and they didn’t tease me, but I was a little (a lot?) self-conscious. Like, can we please get the idea out of our head that ONLY pregnant women get stretch marks?? (Cocoa butter companies, hello?!) They can happen to girls that grow tall fast or, like me, you can have them all freaking over because the puberty button in your brain got stuck. (LOL?) And calling them cute things like skin lightning doesn’t really help. My limbs and body still look weird.

I don’t remember seeing many characters shaped like me in shows as a kid or teenager.  Unless maybe Simpsons characters with their pudgy bellies who may be some of the most average, realistic bodies in all of fiction, really. We can’t all be supermodels and body builders. Sailor Moon girls were all thin and leggy. None of the Magic School Bus kids were pudgy, all average and healthy (which is probably a good thing in a way. IDK. Representation is great, but so is promoting healthy eating and healthy shapes. Everything has their place.)  Disney characters were mostly animals at the time, and I didn’t see Recess until Highschool or something at 3 am, and even then, there was only Mikey. Mikey was progressive, but he wasn’t female. Closest I got was Ariel’s (Little Mermaid) sister, Adella ( https://littlemermaid.fandom.com/wiki/Adella) and even then, she had no belly and never animated the same outside of the series with not much character development or anything.

Cassie from Animorphs might’ve been a close second, but, though she was my favorite female character as a kid (not anymore), it was hard to say “OMG, she’s shaped like me!” as it was a book series with few visual aides outside of covers, posters and some toys. 

I remember seeing the singing group Cherish for a few seconds on TV once. A bunch of thick, busty, heavy black girls and I was SO EXCITED because for those few seconds on TV, there were girls that looked like me! Then some years later I found out a few of them lost weight and I was like bleh. (I didn’t follow their music or anything, not even sure how I saw them again.) Not that disapprove, health is essential, and I encourage people to lose weight for themselves, but it was nice having some representation. Except health needs to come first. It’s a two-edged sword if I ever saw one.

Don’t get me started on the sheer amount of girls with small/flat chests on TV. (No offense! See above about body types. Again, it’s about representation and seeing someone that looks like you that was not common in the 90s and early 2000s) I’m picky though. I wanted to see more representation, but the minute I saw it, I was not impressed or annoyed. To my better judgement, I saw a few episodes of something I won’t name with a curvy lead. I found her times dressing up as a man unconvincing and confusing because of her body shape. Other times I was, for lack of a better word, slightly appalled at her own size, even though she somewhat looked like me. I know, it makes no sense. Other times, I was mad at Lizzy Mcguire or another show for having skinny characters with A-cups while I was, er, way past training bras and smaller bras by 14/15 when the show was new.

Swearz, I developed (pun not intended!) this weird conspiracy theory that Disney execs have to look at the Star’s mom and other women in their family before casting a girl to make sure she stays thin/average chested for the shows entire run. Outside of one show, all shows in that era had the same thin girl body type. (And not much representation for different races for Disney back then, but that’s another debate for someone to better handle, not me.) 

All that said, my shape was attributed to four things: Diet, genetics, lack of exercise and my mom’s cooking. Not sure how much I subscribe to the “genetics effect body fat theory”, but the “genetics effect body shape” is definitely a thing! And hormones in chicken. My family said all I ever wanted when I was little was McDonald’s chicken nuggets all the time, so I think that had some play in how I turned out. It’s probably too much to get into here, and no one cares about my sob story, so let’s move on.

Sammy is awesome and I hope to see more characters like her from other studios in the future. Every body type needs representation, but every body also deserves to be healthy and nourished.

EDIT: WARNING: THE VIDEO AND  THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS TALK ABOUT ED AND CALORIE RESTRICTION!!

OMAHGAWWWD! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE INDUSTRY, Y’ALL!! (Okay, that’s obvious, but you don’t really give it thought in your day to day life.)

The video gives a summary of Jenette McCurdy’s time on iCarly and the horrors she’d been going through in her younger years, which included an eating disorder and restricting calories to an (alleged) 900. Dear lord, that is sickening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCE1x_chT34

Granted, I would take this with a small grain of salt as it’s from the internet, and undoubtedly, many actresses, probably more than we realize, have ED’s. If they would start encouraging them to be at healthy weights, things like this wouldn’t happen. Frick Nickelodeon and frick the acting industry!! 

So, this was what I was trying to convey. Casting and producers need to find that middle ground. Don’t promote fact acceptance, but do not force your actors/actresses to be stick thin either.  I could go on a huge tangent, but I don’t have the brain power right now. If you have an ED or know someone that does, I strongly encourage you to get help. I’ve been in tight spots like that (I knew of people or knew people), but getting REAL help from a doctor, professional, or someone with a good head on their shoulders is better than hiding it or keeping it secret. Ten years down the line, you’ll be thankful you did and not have regret. No one is perfect, but sometimes you have to fight harder to find a solution and someone that will actually listen to you and take your concerns to heart. 

If I get negative comments, I’ll be deleting this and no one will be able to enjoy it. Think before you type and don’t be a jerk.

[pocket-void]

Hi Mock!

I wish you a good morning! (It's currently 8:30 am here and I hope you are asleep wherever you are because healthy sleep schedules and all that!) 🌻

I just found out that you write, too, and I've read "A cup of coffee" and honestly, is there something you can't do? Because that was really great! I enjoyed reading it so much!! And I love your Logan in it!

And can I ask: where so you get the motivation to do all this great stuff? Drawing, writing, school? Like, I have like 5 different writing projects screaming at me because I don't work on them and yesterday I outlined yet another fic that I'll probably never write because I just don't have the motivation and - how do you do it? Because I want to write. It's the best thing in the world to me. But I just can't get myself to do it, and when I do, everything I make feels kinda... not good. Ugly, if you will.

So I guess I just want to know what I can do to get myself away from that? Because I really need to write, I'll go insane otherwise O_o

Anyway, have a wonderful day and eat a cookie!! 🌼

Y’all who can format stuff in asks will never cease to bamboozle me. O///o

But hello!! I believe it’s the afternoon where you are now! ^\\\^ (Not to worry, if there’s one thing I try to get enough of it’s sleep!)

Heidhwkfns Yes I write too but it’s incredibly on and off since I’m not as confident with it and it takes much longer than art! >\\\< I 100% want to write more often tho, but my need to accomplish stuff just finds art less time consuming. I’m really glad you like “A Cup of Coffee” because I’m quite happy with how that one turned out! ^\\\^ (And also just genuinely surprised at how many people enjoyed it) So thank you!! ;///;✨💖

So, here’s the thing. I’m just a normal person, just like anybody else! There are days where I have 0 motivation to do anything, and days where I’m way too motivated but still do absolutely nothing anyways lmao- I can’t say that my experience will work for everybody of course, but I can try to explain how I feel or how I work things out when I don’t feel like doing things. u///u

The first step is to forgive myself, because it’s going to be ok. There’s nothing wrong with having an off day, and nothing wrong with not accomplishing anything for now. There should be no guilt involved in not touching something for ages, god knows I’ve got so much in the “maybe later” idea box that I will never get to. But that’s ok! My creations will never blame me for not working on them, so in turn I promised to never blame myself for it either. And if I ever go back to complete one of them, great! But if not, that still doesn’t mean that it was a waste. Everything you make has value, finished or not.

The second is to remember that I love them. I love them a lot. I love creating, I love art, I love writing, and I love the process behind them! What you write and create will never complain if they are “not the best” or “ugly”. Their value comes from how you feel about them. Nobody else’s imput matters. So what if it’s not great? So what if it’s a mess? My terrible crayon drawing from when I was 4? Love it. Still has my whole heart. They’re on my bedroom wall to this day! (Neatly framed and hung, courtesy of my dad) I ask myself why I sat down to do something in the first place, and the answer is always going to be because I love doing it! Everything I make means something to me, no matter how bad or how small. Because at the end of the day, I made something. And it’s all the reason I need to love it.

It doesn’t matter if this doodle looks bad or this draft makes literally no sense because even if it’s not good, I did it. Even if I feel like I’m going nowhere, I know that each creation is a small step in my long long journey of improvement. It might not seem like that sometimes, like everything we do doesn’t really seem like it’s getting better any time soon, but we can never tell unless we keep doing it right? Instead of being upset that I’m not very good now, I decided to try and look forward to how good I eventually will be. I find that prospect exciting! We never know how much we grow until we get there, it’s like a happy surprise! ^\\\^✨And in the meantime, I am allowed to be perfectly happy with what I already can do. How far I’ve already come. Even if other people tell me otherwise, even if it’s true that it’s not very great, who’s to say that I will always be? Not me, that’s for sure.

I am willing to be patient for the sake of what I do, because I am willing to do it for an eternity.

There is no race in doing what I love, because I am the only one on this path. I can see other people on their own paths too! And sometimes they’re faster and have way better stamina than me, but their final destination is ultimately going to be much much different than mine, even if we’re going in a similar direction. So there is no point in trying to match them; I decide to walk at my own pace. It’s much easier for me this way. Take breaks! Drink some water. We’ve all got our places to go. ^\\\^

Third thing about getting things done is, well, getting it done! Do you know how I wrote “A Cup of Coffee”? I pain stakingly stared at it all day with frequent breaks in between, read it a ridiculous amount of times until it didn’t sound like english, and had text to speech read it back to me a couple more times just so I could make sure, because I really really really wanted to finish it. And it probably was kind of messy, hahaha. >\\\<

I’m not suggesting you do what I did btw, because it’s not even how I always write things! My other story “Table for Two” was written under a much different context. For that one, I wrote parts of it on different days. I took walks thinking about how I’d word things, how I’d imagine the scene going, and how I should pace sentences. I actually deleted the entire first paragraph and started over a few times because it didn’t sound right. Then one afternoon I decided that I wanted this story done. So I sat down and did what I could, edited a few things afterwards, and tentatively showed it to a friend. I didn’t edit it much after that, but it was done!

If I learned anything from highschool, it’s that doing something imperfectly is better than not doing it at all. I’m still a pretty picky perfectionist and a terrible procrastinator, and it’s not easy! But I would much prefer something I make to be “messy but complete”, rather than “pretty good so far but not finished”. Personally for me, getting started is the hardest part of doing anything. I have yet to find an easier way to do it, but I know that sometimes I just need to sit down and do what I can to start writing. If a sentence sounds weird, I keep going, because I can come back to it later! But if a sentence doesn’t exist, I can’t fix that without, well, writing it. o///o So I consider that a start!

I definitely understand you when you say that you can’t get yourself to write because I currently kind of can’t either. >\\\< I have outlines that I won’t ever write, I have ideas that I’m not gonna get to, and I’ve got fics that I worry won’t be as good when I write them. But maybe today I’ll sit myself down and just write one sentence. Give it a title, make a document, and stare for a lil bit. Give it a beginning. Because for me, sometimes drawing the starting line somewhere helps. Maybe it can show me what direction I need to go in just a little bit clearer. u///u

At the end of the day, the thing I say all the time is enjoy what you do. It’s just genuinely the most important part of doing anything to me. Yes it can be hard and sometimes we worry about how it’s gonna be, but we still do it don’t we? We come back and try again because we love it. Because we really can’t live without it. So what’s wrong with just...doing it?

That’s how it is to be a creator for me, I suppose. And from one to another, I genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey!!

After all, there will be no other quite like it. u///u💖✨

[sybright]

My Favorite Cats Ships

Okie dokie, @whitmerule wanted to know my main ships/pairings and I knew I’d have to make a post dedicated to this at some point so here it is lol (also sorry this is so long). My “main” universe, which is what all of my main pairings are in, is based on the ‘98 film for the most part (although really all of my universes are based on the ‘98 film, just with alterations here and there). 

Edit: My preferences have changed somewhat, so I’ve edited this list to reflect my current feelings towards certain pairings. This means that I’ve deleted some pairings that I don’t like much anymore, and have added some new ones :). All of these ships are in no particular order btw.

Main Pairings:

Tuggoffelees 

-I know it’s super popular and there’s loads of content on them, but I still stan. I don’t love them AS much as I used to, but they were my first ship in this fandom, and therefore are still very important to me. 

Demebombastrap 

-In terms of individual pairings, I really like Demelurina and Bombastrap on their own, but I like them best all together. I used to be quite fond of Demestrap by itself, but I’ve gotten pretty tired of that ship over time personally (obviously nothing against people who like this pairing a lot, kudos to y’all who love Demestrap ^^), so I’m not that big a fan of them on their own anymore. In order of the individual pairings I like best: Demelurina first, Bombastrap second, and Demestrap not so much.

Skimblegus (Skimbleshanks/Asparagus Jr., NOT Gus the theatre cat, I see the two of them as separate characters in most productions).

Jellydots (Sweet lesbian grandmas <3).

Tumblejem 

-This is my self-projection asexual pairing, leave me alone lol. They give me bestie vibes and I love that for them <3.  

Platoriateazer 

-This is a bit of a rarepair, but it is one of my main ships, I see Teazer and Plato as platonic partners and Tori as their mutual gf. Alternatively, I like Victeazer and Platoria on their own as well, although I like Victeazer a bit more than Platoria, but I prefer them all together.

And that’s about it for my “main” pairings, here’s a list of my alternate pairings/rarepairs that I love too much for my own good.

Alternate Pairings/Rarepairs:

Demandra 

-No longer my main blog’s url, but they have their own blog now and therefore are still ridiculously important to me XD. This is my fave rarepair, and might also be even MORE of a self-projection asexual pairing for me than they were before. I’ll say it once, this is my ultimate comfort pairing. 

Plonzostrap (Plato/Alonzo/Munkustrap, alternatively, I like Alonzostrap and Plonzo on their own as well, although I haven’t put that much thought into Munklato on its own).

Platoricopat (Cats Zurich got me obsessed with this concept, and @whitmerule’s gifs are are just *chef’s kiss*).

George/Etcetera/Electra 

-I don’t really have a ship name for this, and also this particular pairing is very complicated and I’ll try to explain it as best I can. George and Etcetera are romantic partners, Etcetera and Electra are queer-platonic partners (I see Electra as aromantic), and George and Electra are platonic partners. This is technically a main pairing for me, but it’s sort of rare and complicated in its dynamics so I put it down here. Also, I adopted the hc that George is a Pollicle btw.

Oh and just as an aside, I also really like Elecctera and Etceorge on their own, but I probably slightly prefer Elecctera, I just love the queer-platonic besties vibes of them <3. 

Mungocavity (This is in a scenario where Macavity is less evil and more of a dumbass, but I really like this pairing. It would be one of my main pairings if my main universe Macavity wasn’t complete shit).  

Jemtoria

-One of my newer ships, I usually see Tori and Jem as being somewhat far apart in age, so this is in a scenario where Jem’s a bit aged up and Tori’s a bit aged down. I love everything about this pairing. Considering how much Jem and Tori interact with each other in the show, this ship has so much potential to me. They’re just so soft and they make me really happy <3. 

Tuggoffeleteazer

-Once upon time I didn’t think I’d ever ship Tugger or Misto with really anyone but each other, but times change. Initially, I got very interested in the idea of Rumpletugger (which I still quite like on it’s own), but then later became intrigued by the idea of Mistoteazer (and all the shenanigans they’d get up to, both being mischievous and chaotic), so of course this led to me just putting all three of them together XD. I love this trio so much, they just give “bestie vibes ONLY” type of energy, and feel like a super chaotic friend group, and that makes me really happy. 

Bombbella

-I’m not even sure how to explain what led me to becoming so attached to this ship XD. I had seen people mention it being a neat concept in passing, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually truly ships them. I basically got into this ship through my “Jellicle leader Griz” au thing, which is an au where Griz is the oldest of Deuteronomy’s children and was expected to become the next Jellicle leader. She’s much younger in this au than how I typically see her, so the newer Griz design fits well in this scenario. I just got really into the idea of Griz and Bomba being tragic ex-lovers. 

They dated for a long time in their teens, broke up for a few years, and then got back together again when they had matured, and then Griz went and abandoned the tribe (as well as Bomba) to see the world and pursue her dream of being a star. Griz returned eventually, but the damage had been done, and Bomba was far from ready to forgive her. In the end though, she does forgive Griz, as does everyone else, but then Griz goes on to be reborn, and they miss their chance at happily being together. It’s just all in all a really fun concept for me to play around with, and has so much angst potential. 

Jellycass

-Not a new ship, quite the opposite actually. This is a ship that I usually don’t think much about (hence why it wasn’t here when I first made this list), but whenever I do, I always feel at peace inside lol. I can’t for the life of me find the post that got me into this ship (trust me, I have searched ALL over tumblr for it, I looked through both Jellylorum’s and Cassandra’s ENTIRE tags and still couldn’t find it), but I saw a post when I was first getting into the Cats fandom that talked about how Jelly and Cass would be this sort of “odd couple” that the tribe didn’t really understand, but clicked super well with each other for some reason. 

Even though I only ever saw that one post on them for a long time, I grew really attached to the ideas it presented for Jellycass. I like the age gap concept in particular, with my personal idea of it being Cass in her late twenties to early thirties, and Jelly being in her late thirties to early forties. It really heightens the “odd couple” energy of them, and I can see Cass getting along really well with someone older. Troika provides me all the rights for this ship <3. 

Some Extra Stuff:

Even though I like Platoria as an individual ship, and ship them to a degree, I’m not super interested in them. They’re a bit bland for me if I’m being honest. I like seeing them on my dash, but I won’t actively seek out content of them, so please don’t tag me in stuff surrounding them if you don’t mind (obviously this doesn’t apply to their poly equivalent). I used to include Demestrap in this section, but now I’m really not all that fond of them, I really only like them together in a poly scenario, like Demebombastrap or even Demelonzostrap. 

There’s a bunch of ships that I categorize as “I like it, but I don’t ship it,” and that’s where ships like Munkujerrie and Alonzoffelees fall. They’re ships that I enjoy as concepts, and that I would probably read fanfic about if given the opportunity (and like fanart of), but I don’t necessarily ship them. So you don’t need to tag me for them. 

The only ships that I just straight up don’t like, although I have nothing against people who like them, are Tuggerlurina, Mistoria, Skimbledots, and Jellygus, Tuggerlurina being the one I dislike the most. I just scroll past content of them if I see it on my dash, I thought I should probably list them here cause idk, might be useful to @whitmerule to know which ships I really don’t like. 

Note: I don’t see any of the characters I listed here as being biologically related, some people hc Deme and Bomba as sisters, or Etcetera and Electra as being twins, I don’t see this personally (In fact I have a whole bunch of family hcs that I’ll probably save for another post, if anyone even wants to read that lol). 

And now for my favorite 2019 movie pairings (which I also don’t see any of them as being biologically related), because they’re sort of relevant since I’m listing pairings and stuff so I feel like putting them here too:

2019 Movie Main Pairings

Mistoriastraps 

-This is the ONLY scenario where I like Misto and Tori together. I only like it when it’s in the 2019 movie, and only if it’s with Munk, those are my two requirements lol. I think Munktoria and Munkoffelees are really cute too, but I don’t care for them that much, I like them best all together.

Demandra (I see their relationship very differently in the movie, and I prefer their stage-show relationship, but as always, I love them). 

Tantojerrie 

-I know they don’t really interact in the movie, but I saw people talking about them as a ship on here, and I just think they’d be really cute. Technically Tanto is implied to be kitten age in the movie, but I imagine this as a post-movie, next Jellicle Ball type scenario. I see Tanto as being on the cusp of adulthood, where she’ll probably be an adult at the next Jellicle Ball, and I see Jerrie as being a very young adult, so they’re not far apart in my mind (plus I see Jellicles, being cats and all, aging differently than humans, so this isn’t as odd to me as it might be to other people).

2019 Movie Alternate Pairings:

These are just my alternate pairings for Misto, Tori, and Munk if Mistoriastraps doesn’t happen lol:

Tuggoffelees

-I’ve adopted the hc that they’re ex-boyfriends in the 2019 movie, and I like to imagine that they’ve sorted things out post-movie and got back together.

Victeazer

Skimblestrap

That’s about it for my ships. Thank you for reading if you got this far lol. 

[artificialqueens]

Stupid For You, Chapter 4 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

summary: Jackie has to address her actions from the party, while Gigi has to process feelings she’d rather not. Also, if you aren’t familiar with speaking on radios, 10-4 means affirmative.

Gigi spent the rest of the day in bed. After crying until her eyes were red and puffy, she sat in bed trying to process everything. Crystal had a boyfriend. A boyfriend. When she shut her eyes, all she could see was the blonde boy and Crystal kissing. All Gigi could do was think about their relationship. How did they meet? Who asked who out? Have they slept together? Were they in love? Was it serious? She then pictured them doing gross romantic couple things. The thought of Crystal and that boy going to a pumpkin patch and picking out a pumpkin while sharing hot apple cider made her heart sink. Gigi pictured the two of them at prom, his tux matching her dress, dancing the night away. After breaking her heart with more scenarios, she forced herself to stop thinking so hard about it.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about the night before. Gigi thought about how beautiful and carefree Crystal looked… She thought about the way her face lit up when she won beer pong. She started thinking about the two of them dancing… The way Crystal’s hips swayed against her… Gigi’s mind wandered to when Crystal changed in front of her.

Never had Gigi Goode seen anyone’s bare chest but her own. She bit her lip as she pictured Crystal topless, while stroking her own breast, while her other hand trailed downward… She knew it was a bad idea, so she forced herself to stop. Gigi sat up in bed, trying desperately to clear her head.

Her next thoughts were about Crystal’s sexuality. Was she straight? With the way that she acted around her, Gigi was almost certain that she wasn’t. There was no way. But what if she was? What if she was reaching, and everything Crystal did was completely reasonable for a friend to do?

Back when Nora lived at home, Gigi watched her older sister get her heartbroken many times. Nora, much like Jaida, got extremely invested extremely quickly. One time when she was fourteen and Nora was eighteen, Gigi watched her big sister cry over some boy on the debate team. It had been the second time that month. Gigi, who had finally had enough told her sister to stop being so stupid for him.

Now she was trying to tell herself to stop being so stupid for Crystal. Four years later, Gigi understood that her words were much easier said than done.

Gigi just hoped to God that she would be able to keep it together the next morning.

“Hello, my love!” Crystal said cheerfully handing an extremely unenthused Gigi a coffee mug.

Gigi forced herself to snap out of it. It’s not like Crystal was shattering her heart into a million pieces and then torching them on purpose.

Crystal looked at Gigi. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just tired.”

“Gotcha. I feel you. Me and Ryan went hiking yesterday. Hiking isn’t fun hungover. It’s not very much fun to begin with, but especially not when you’re hungover, but I promised him I’d go.”

This was her chance. “I didn’t know you even had a boyfriend.”

“Yeah! We’ve been together since freshman year of high school. I guess I’m just not the type of person to gush about her boyfriend.”

“That’s so… sweet,” Gigi managed through gritted teeth.

“I really love him. This is so lame, but we won homecoming king and queen.”

“Awe, cute.” Gigi could hear her the insincerity dripping from her voice. Thankfully Crystal couldn’t.

“He’s really the best. I think you guys would get along really well.”

Yeah, right.

Gigi hesitated. “Why don’t you ever post pictures with him?” Because of the many nights spent stalking Crystal’s social media, if there was any mention of a boyfriend, she would have known.

“Honestly?” Crystal began. “He doesn’t really like to take pictures. He’s very anti-social media. Ryan is low key a conspiracy theorist. Almost every day he tells me to delete my social media because now North Korea has my information or something.”

“That’s so… interesting.”

 What about you, do you have a boyfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Did you just not want one or…”

Gigi trusted Crystal, but didn’t trust her enough to tell her everything about her. Not yet. “I think that I’m afraid to let people in.”

“Really?”

She sighed. “Ever since my dad, I’ve had a hard time trusting anyone. Abandonment issues and shit.”

“I am so sorry.”

“I guess I just look at as what’s the point of dating if they’re just going to leave anyway?”

Crystal held her hand on top of Gigi’s and looked at her with a face full of sincerity. “I’ll never leave you.”

“Thank you,” Gigi managed in just above a whisper.

“You know too much about me. I like you, and really don’t want to have to kill you.”

—

Jackie was one to always be on time. However, she was not one to be an extra half an hour early. But, she knew that Jan was opening, and aimed to avoid the blonde at all costs. Unfortunately for Jackie, when opening her locker, she saw blonde hair and a purple backpack out of the corner of her eye. As much as she hoped she wouldn’t, Jan made her way over.

“Jackie, hi. Do you want to talk about… it?”

“I’d prefer to not if that’s okay,” Jackie said shoving her bag inside of her locker.

“Jackie, don’t shut me out. I know that it probably isn’t like you to do something like that, but it happened. It happened, and you can’t take it back. I know we haven’t known each other for that long, but I really value and respect you as a person. I don’t know why you freaked out, especially because kissed me first. I’ll give you space if you want space, but please. Talk to me when you’re ready.” She walked away without waiting for a response.

For the rest of the day, Jackie couldn’t focus. She was team lead that day, and almost forgot to send Nicky on her break. While in tower, all Jackie could think about was Jan. She had no idea why she couldn’t shake the blonde from her head. Even though she dated boys all through school, she never felt strongly toward any of them. She slept with her boyfriend in junior year, but broke up with him right after, because she felt nothing toward him. There was something different about Jan. Jackie felt things toward Jan that she thought she was supposed to feel to her boyfriends. The keyword being boyfriend. Being gay was out of the question for Jackie. Her entire life, both of her parents that being gay was immoral and disgusting, something Jackie never understood. It was up until she met Jaida her first summer at Paradise Isle before she even met a gay person. As Jackie looked at the monitors from tower, she tried to reassure herself that she definitely wasn’t gay, and that Jan was just pretty. Even if she knew it wasn’t true.

Finally, it was time for her break. Jackie looked around, making sure that Jan wasn’t also on her break. Thankfully, she was in the clear. Jaida was sitting at a table by herself eating a salad.

“Hey, girl,” Jaida said as Jackie sat across from her.

“Jaida. I have a problem.”

“Is that problem a pretty blonde girl named Jan?”

“How did you know?”

“What do you remember about the party?”

“I kissed Jan. Like. I initiated it, apparently. But it was just one kiss right?”

“Ooh, chile. No, you guys were making out. For a while. Everyone saw. You were grabbing her ass and everything.”

Jackie buried her head in her hands. “Oh, no.”

“Have you seen her today?“

“Yeah, this morning. She tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t listen. She agreed to give me space… I can’t hold this off forever, Jaida.”

“No. You can’t. You know what y’all need?” Jaida questioned.

“What?”

“You know what.”

“I’m not taking Jan onto the Ferris wheel.”

Because Paradise Isle was mostly ran by people who were all around the same age, there were plenty of relationships, flings, and conflicts. When any problems arose, it was customary to go into the Ferris wheel to resolve any issues. The parties in question would ride until they either they resolved their issues, stormed off angrily, or ran away crying. It wasn’t something management allowed, but the supervisors knew how much conflict it resolved, so they let it slide. Jackie had never had to take any rides in the Ferris wheel. Jaida, however, took at least one a summer. Her second summer she took three.

“If you don’t take her, I’m going to shove your skinny Persian ass into that ride. I’ll drag Jan by the hair if I have to. You are going to talk this out. Okay?”

Jackie grumbled. “I guess.”

“Tell Jan to meet you at the Ferris wheel. The Genie closes early tonight for maintenance, right?”

Jackie nodded.  Once a month, The Genie closed a half an hour early for maintenance, which made it the perfect night.

“Okay, perfect. Jan’s stocking tonight, so it’ll be easy for her to slip away.”

Jackie’s heart beat fast as she tried to come up with what to text Jan. She reread it twice and made Jaida read it, too before she sent it.

Hey. I’m really sorry. Can we talk? I’ll be at the Ferris wheel at close.

Jan responded almost immediately.

ill see you then

“How did she respond so fast?” Jackie questioned.

“Stockers do whatever they want. Anyway. My break’s over. Let me know how it goes.”

“Will do.”

—

Gigi couldn’t stop thinking about Crystal. It didn’t help that she was in the slowest store, at the slowest time of the night, all by herself. Nobody wanted to buy overpriced, blurry photos of themselves on rides. She debated calling Jan because she was bored, but decided against it, since Jan was going to be by soon to close the store.

“Hey, gorg,” Jan said as she made her way inside.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“’Hey.’” Jan mocked Gigi’s depressed tone as she started shutting down photo monitors.

“Promise you won’t tell?” Gigi felt like she was in middle school saying that sentence.

“Pinky promise.”

Gigi linked pinkies with Jan while emptying the register. “So me and Crystal got super close super quickly, I’m sure you saw.”

“Yeah, of course. She’s a sweetheart.”

 “Yeah she is. Anyway. I started feeling…. Feelings toward her. Do you follow?” Jan nodded. “And honestly, I thought she felt the same way… She spent the night at my house after the party and literally cuddled with me.”

“Oh wow, really?”

“Yeah. So here I was, thinking that she felt the same way. Turns out I was completely wrong. Get this, she gets picked up from my house by her boyfriend.”

“Oof.”

“Oof, indeed.”

“Well,” Jan said. “Have you thought about telling her?”

“Absolutely not.” Gigi finished putting the rest of the money in the locked bag. The two girls headed out of the store.

“Why not?”

“What good is it going to do?”

Jan slammed the gate in front of the store shut as they left.

“Would it give you any sort of peace of mind?”

“I mean, maybe. But what if it ruins everything? It’s not like she’s gonna break up with him on the spot to date me. Why would–”

They were interrupted on their way to the money room by an older woman.

“I’m supposed to meet my family at The Landing. How do I get there?”

Jan smiled kindly. “Ma’am you’re on The Landing right now.”

“I am? Where’s my family?”

“Can’t help you with that ma’am, hope you find them!” Jan walked away before the woman could continue.

Gigi rolled her eyes at the woman. “Why would I risk the friendship? I’d rather have her in my life as my friend than not at all.”

They reached the money room, where they were greeted by Nina. After handing her the locked money bag, they made their way to Isle Mercantile’s stockroom to help close.

“At the end of the day, it’s up to you. I can’t tell you what to do. It’s not an easy situation, and it doesn’t have a clear answer. I’m sorry Gigi.” Jan hugged Gigi.

“Thanks, Jan.”

Jan. “Oh shit. I’m late.”

“Late for what?”

“Jackie wants to talk about… things.”

“Good luck.”

—

The rest of Jackie’s workday went by disgustingly slow. At least she spent the rest of her shift at Load 1, which meant that she ran back and forth checking lapbars, and then engaging her console. It kept her busy and kept her mind off of Jan, at least for a while.

Once her shift ended, Jackie changed into the clothes that she had in her bag, old jean shorts, and a t-shirt with her university’s logo, desperately wishing that she kept cuter spare clothes. Close to closing, all attractions on The Boardwalk had a short wait. When she got there, a slightly unusual girl named Yvie was operating the ride. Jackie didn’t know Yvie well, but remembered that the year prior, Yvie had to ride the wheel with a girl named Scarlet.

It was five minutes after close. All Jackie could do was think about what a big mistake she made until she saw Jan running full force down The Boardwalk. “I’m so sorry! I was mending a broken heart.”

“Good luck,” Yvie said as they went up.

Jackie and Jan didn’t say anything at first.

Finally, Jan broke the silence. “Do you regret it?”

“What?”

“Do you regret kissing me?”

Jackie sat, methodically constructing her answer. “No. No, I don’t.”

“Well why did you freak out then? I hope you know that you really fucking hurt me, Jackie.”

This made Jackie’s heart break. Knowing that she caused such a kind soul hurt killed her. “Jan, I am so, so sorry. That is the last thing I wanted to do. I just need you to know one thing.”

“What?”

“It had absolutely nothing to do with you… Honestly my entire life my parents told me being gay was bad, and I didn’t think I believed them, but maybe part of my subconscious did. Not that at all is an excuse for my behavior. The thought of liking a girl the way I was told I was supposed to like boys freaked me the fuck out.” 

They reached the platform.

“Again?” Yvie asked.

Jackie nodded.

“Gotcha.”

“I never even considered the fact that I could be gay. And then I met you, and you’re so confident in who you are.”

“Confident in who I am? Jackie, I’ve never labelled my sexuality. I dated a couple boys in my time, but also hooked up with a girl on my soccer team. I just know that if I like someone, I like them. I don’t really think anything beyond that matters, not that I haven’t had late nights where I couldn’t stop thinking about how confused I was.”

Jackie was surprised. Jan seemed so sure of herself, so it was unusual to imagine her being unsure about anything. “Really? You seem so confident about literally everything.”

“Do you wanna know a secret? Most of it’s fake. My mom used to always tell me ‘fake it til you make it,’ and I guess it stuck.”

They reached the bottom again. Yvie looked at them and Jackie nodded.

“10-4.”

They started rising again.

Jackie exhaled. Her heart was pounding. It was now or never. “I’ve dated boys all throughout school. I slept with one of them. And honestly, Jan? I felt more when I kissed you the other night than I ever did when I was with any of them, and I was drunk… Jan, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the party. I think about how you light up every room you go into. I think about how pretty you are when you smile. I keep thinking about kissing you again.”

“Wow.”

“And I’m sorry if that’s strong, but I just need to tell let that off my chest and I understand if–”

Jan didn’t let Jackie finish. Instead, she grabbed her shirt and kissed her. If Jackie thought kissing Jan drunk was nice, kissing her sober was incredible. Their lips moved in perfect synchronization. Jackie was used to boys who led with the tongue. Instead, Jan’s kisses were gentle, yet powerful. Jackie unconsciously moved her hand through Jan’s soft hair. Eventually, Jan broke the kiss.

“Is that okay that I did that?”

Instead of answering, Jackie pulled her into another kiss. At this point, they reached the top.

“I really like you, Jan. I don’t really know how to process that information, but I know that I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you, too. We can take it as slowly as you want. I want to see where this goes. I think we have something good here.”

“I think so, too.”

Jan rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder the rest of the way down.

Yvie looked in at them.  “You guys good?”

Jan smiled. “Never better.”

[jaefluenza]

Ice Cream | Yuta x Reader

a theme park date with Yuta! (super fluff!)

word count: 2,3k words

“Hyung, do you have plans today?” Haechan asked Yuta as he looked at the older man playing Jaehyun’s nintendo switch.

“Uhm, no. Why?” Yuta replied without even looking.

Haechan smiles brightly, “Great! We’re going to Everland. Be prepared, hyung. Let’s go!”

Yuta leaves his nintendo, “Wait, what?” He runs towards the door, chasing after the younger boy.

“Who are we going with? And, did you ask manager hyung?”

Haechan looks back at him, ”Uh, I invited Y/n and Doyoung. The others are not available.”

Yuta’s eyes widened in nervousness. ”Ah..okay.” He hurriedly closes the door and goes to prepare himself.

So, you and Yuta have been best friends since you both were kids. Yuta introduces you to the boys through FaceTime, so you and the boys immediately became close. You learned Korean for Yuta, and you promised him and the boys to take them to the theme park.

“What should I wear? Uh, this jacket? No, definitely not cool.” Yuta takes off his outer and try another coat, “Well, this coat? Ah, too bland.”

Haechan walks into the older’s room, wondering what took him so long just to go to a theme park.

He whines, “Hyung, are you seriously deciding what to wear right now? We don’t have time!”

“This wouldn’t happen if you didn’t invite her! I gotta make a good impression, Donghyuck-ah!” Yuta answered back.

The younger sighs in defeat, “Alright, I’ll wait for you in the living room. Doyoung hyung is also ready.”

Yuta replied with a brief ‘ok’ before spraying on his cologne. “I have to look good.”

Meanwhile, you’re already sitting in a boba cafe, waiting for the guys to arrive. You dress prettily, wearing a cute bright overall, paired with a black and white striped shirt. You have someone to impress, of course, your childhood best friend, Nakamoto Yuta.

You slurped your boba, almost upset that the boys haven’t showed up. You dialed Haechan’s number, huffing in anger until you heard him answering the call. “Hello, noona~” His cute greeting almost making you melt.

“Yah, Lee Donghyuck! What did I tell you? We were supposed to meet at 11, and now it’s 11.25. My makeup is running off!”

“Don’t blame me for keeping you waiting, blame Yuta hyung instead. He-” He was cut by a panic Yuta. “Hi, Y/n. We’re five minutes away from the cafe, wait a little bit more, okay?” Hearing his voice makes you gulp in nervousness. “O-okay.” You replied before ending the call. You decided to check your look before they arrive.

You put your lipgloss into the bag and before you get to turn your head, 3 boys are sitting in front of you. You were about to greet haechan loudly when you realize that they’re idols. “HAEChan-ah~” Haechan laugh at you quietly behind his mask, while you want to pop out some bobas from the straw into his face for laughing at you.

Yuta smiled brightly as he saw you laughing around with the boys. He’s feeling so awkward sitting next to you that he can’t be brave enough to greet you first. Doyoung slurped his boba before speaking up, “haven’t y’all bought the tickets?”

You shook your head as you answered, “No, I thought Haechan said he got the tickets booked.”

Haechan nodded before taking up his phone to the three of you, “I did. Thanks to me,” He bragged which makes the three of you rise from your seats and leave him behind. “Hey, let’s go together..”

Arriving at the theme park, the four of you splits into pairs, so y’all won’t draw any attention. Haechan purposely team himself with Doyoung so Yuta can get some alone time with you. Before going into the theme park shuttle bus, Yuta tapped your shoulder awkwardly, wanting to give you something. You turned to him with a little “what’s up”.

“Why are you so confident? You have to wear a mask too. It would get crazy if someone captured your face. Wear this,” he said while handing you a cute printed mask. You noticed it looks like the one he also wears before you laugh, “a couple mask? Oooh, I didn’t know you hadn’t this side of you.”

“Shut up, just wear it.” He said coyly.

The two of you got into a second bus and fortunately, unlike the earlier bus that Doyoung and Haechan ride in, the entire bus is empty. You take a seat while Yuta stands up, holding onto a handle grip. Since no one of both of you is speaking, you take this as a chance to play around with him. You get your phone from your bag, pointing the camera at him, and click!

“What? Hey! I wasn’t ready!” He complained.

“It’s okay, you look good.” You chuckle, while hiding your phone away from him.

“Let me see.” He leans closer to you but you hide away from him. “No! You’ll take my phone and delete it!”

“I won’t. Come on, let me see~” He pleaded with his wide cute eyes.

“Noooo,” You rise from your seat, running away from him when suddenly the bus turns and you lose your balance.

“Hey! Be careful,” Yuta yelled before he caught your waist, keeping you from falling. You stare at his eyes, blinking in nervousness.

“T-thank you.” You thanked him before tidying up your outfit. The bus stopped and both of you walked out of the bus awkwardly.

“What’s with the awkward atmosphere? Did you guys kiss?” Haechan asked bluntly.

“No!” Both of you said in union.

“N-no. we didn’t,” Yuta said afterward.

You avoid his look awkwardly, while you feel so embarrassed inside. You feel like he didn’t actually feel the same.

“At least, not yet. Yeah, we know it. Not yet,” Doyoung nodded teasingly at both of you, before taking Haechan to leave you and Yuta and entering the theme park.

“What do you want to ride first?” Yuta asked you. You’re still avoiding his look after earlier convo.

“Uh, what should we ride first? Uh, like, maybe, that one?” You point at a small coaster for kids.

He laughed while you blushed, “No, Y/n. We can’t ride that. It’s for kids. Maybe that one.” He pointed at a not-so-high swings and you swear you can feel the goosebumps.

“U-uh, yeah. Probably, uhm, alright.”

“Since when are you scared of rides? You know we used to ride those scary rides in disneyland.”

It’s just, I’m afraid I will look bad beside you, stupid.

“Uh, no, it’s just, It’s been.. long since I go to a theme park. I’m just, like, getting the sparks all over again.”

“Well, let’s go then!” He holds your hand and drag you to the fast track. You can feel your heart is the one racing, not the rides.

After making sure that the safety gear is tighter, Yuta makes sure if you feel okay and excited. While all you think about was, what if my saliva runs out of my mouth, or what if I scream so loudly that his ears would start ringing?

“Hey, you’re alright?” He asked.

You nod, “I am. Don’t worry, this is fun!”

A minute later, you found yourself screaming loudly, not caring if your lens are falling out or if there’s any saliva getting out of your mouth.

After the ride, you no longer feel anxious and awkward around Yuta. It’s like you found the old fun going on when you were with him. These past weeks you stayed in Korea, you care a lot about your appearance in front of Yuta because of your big fat crush but now that you both are alone, the comfortable feeling starts to appear.

“You scream so loud, damn! You never change, Y/n. I love that of you, like you never hold on.” He laughs while you realize what he said. Love?

You think of the possibility of all possibilities when he said that L word, but who knows? Maybe he just loves you as a best friend.

“Oh, Yuta! We should check that out! Cute headbands!” You screamed after seeing a headband booth. “Well, let’s buy some.” He holds your hand as if it’s a usual thing to do while you blush madly.

“Woah, look! Panda headbands! Ooh, and this, couple fairy headbands! I love them!” You coo at the cute headbands. You pick two of them, one is a cute devil headband while the other one is the angel one.

“I’ll take the angel, and you’re the devil.” You claimed.

“But-” You cut him off, “No buts! I’ll take these, thank you.” you head out to the cashier and pay for them while Yuta trails behind you.

You laugh at him when he wears the silly headbands, the pouting shape of his lips can be seen through his mask. “It’s okay. You look cute.” You reassured him.

“Anything for you, Y/n. Anything.” He uttered, which makes you blush heavily.

“Let’s go to the animal park, I want to see pandas.” You casually take his hand and drag him with you. Little did you know, he smiled widely behind his mask, looking at his hand tightly in yours.

“Hey! That’s Haechan and Doyoung,” you dragged him towards the rivalry couple. As you both head towards them, their bickering could be heard.

“I said, let’s go to panda world first!” Haechan shout at his hyung.

“No! I want to see the grizzlies first, let’s go!” Doyoung answers back.

“Hey, why are you guys arguing in this magical place?” You look at the both of them, while Yuta stares at his hand in yours all the time. Doyoung glared playfully at the younger before shifting his eyes at your hand. “Wait, are you guys casually holding hands like that?”

“Eh, did it work? Woah, I guess it works!” Haechan squealed happily until Yuta steps on his foot, warning him of something.

You glance at them suspiciously, “What’s working? Did you guys plan on something?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t listen to them. Yah, you two, follow us. We’re going to see the pandas. Come on,” Yuta glared at the younger boys before dragging you into the panda world area. Haechan smirks at Doyoung while sticking his tongue teasingly. It’s weird.

The moment you all walked out of the animal park, it’s almost dark. “It’s almost sunset already. Let’s go to the Ferris wheels!” Doyoung said.

“You two go first, Y/n and I will go get something at the food fair.” Yuta looks at you while shooing the guys away. The younger boys nod without saying anything and left.

He throws a gummy smile before he asks, “Do you want ice cream? Let’s go.”

At the ice cream booth, your eyes sparkle at the various flavor of icecream. “Woah, strawberry! I want each scoop of strawberry and peach!”

(I’m sorry if these are not your favs but i’m just picking out mine lmao)

Yuta laughs, “Woah! You never change, Y/n. Always, strawberry and peach. Cute,” then he chuckled.

You bit your lip when he said you are cute. Did he really mean that?

Both of you walk to the Ferris wheel with ice creams. “Look, they’re already on the top.” Yuta points at the highest cube where Doyoung and Haechan was in.

The staff opened the door for you and both of you walked in carefully, avoiding people’s look.

“Phew, that was scary. I almost have eye-contact with the people at the queue.”

You laughed, before licking the ice cream so it doesn’t melt away.

Almost reaching the top of the wheel, Yuta moves his leg anxiously. He sneaked a glance at you who’s enjoying the view of the park before putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. You turn at him, a smile appears on his face when he saw the remains of ice cream on the corner of your lips.

“Aye, are you a child? Why are you so messy like that?” He nagged before wiping them off your lips with his thumb.

You look at him in awe, feeling coy by the sudden skinship. “Yuta....”

He shifts closer to you while you blink nervously. He reaches for your hand, looking deeply into your eyes as he speaks, “I know you’re my childhood friends and we probably must just stay friends but, I can’t hide my feelings anymore.”

He continues, “I don’t know what you feel about me, but I personally like you as a woman. No, I mean, I love you. You don’t have to answer, there’s no pressure at all.”

He waited for an answer but your words won’t come out. You feel so wonderstruck, because after all the sneaky glances, awkward skinship and countless calls every night, Yuta actually feels the same about you.

“Yuta, I.. I like you too.” You answered.

His eyes widen in shock, but seconds later, he smiles widely after hearing your confession. “Really?”

You nodded before you feel his lips on yours. You close your eyes, enjoying the kiss on the top of the Ferris wheels. For a moment, everything feels like a dream. Time stops for a while as you both get lost in the feeling of pure bliss.

“You taste like strawberry and peach.” Yuta murmured against your lips.

Unlike the new smoochy couple, Haechan and Doyoung wear their masks again because they’re about to reach the base of the wheel. “Where are they? Oh, they’re at the top. Dude, don’t look.” Doyoung warned as he looked up to a certain cube with a familiar couple in it.

Haechan lost by his own curiously as he also looked to where Doyoung pointed. He cursed while closing his not-so-innocent eyes, “Ah, look at that. We made them. Yeah, we made that happen. They owe us grilled pork, really.”

jaefluenza masterlist

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 32 S4: Most Disturbing Kid’s Show Award Goes to This Episode

I often talk about how wonderfully effed up Yugioh is. What a freakin delight, how effed up this kid’s show is, somehow still remaining a Y7 kid’s show, despite everything it tries to do to get pulled off the air.

Y’all this was a filler season and it didn’t even have Bakura in it so...why did it go so edge? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for how many levels of “OK THERE, KID’S SHOW” it was.

But what the hell was that, Yugioh?

Anyway we start off completely normal in this foggy ass graveyard--Halloweens in this season so I’m down for this. Halloween is also...cancelled...this year, so at least I can celebrate it somewhat in a Yugioh episode. Then again, can you imagine how many people would be dressed up as sexy Covid?

So I don’t really talk about the card game mechanics on here, and (full disclosure to any new people) I don’t know how to play this game. But, considering that this card doesn’t usually send you to distant graveyard memories IRL, lets get into it.

We’ve clarified before that Card Graveyard is a place--like an actual place--but that it isn’t the same place that the cards vibe in within the Puzzle necklace. It’s a separate place, but ALSO not the same place as the Shadow Realm, either. Card Graveyard is just...some other third place we never talk about.

TBQH I think the people who make this show have kinda forgotten how many random pocket dimensions we’ve made that are basically the equivalent of hell (including California, PS), and are just like “no one will write a blog about it and list them all in one place, we’ll be fine.”

We’ve only seen Tristan bum out here once in like S1 and he spent most of his time running away from the Grim Reaper. But, if you remember correctly, the Grim Reaper is currently hanging out and living his best life haunting some park in Japan, so now instead of the Grim Reaper it has...this?

So is this a memory stored within the card graveyard, or did Dartz literally take Raphael to the card graveyard and tell him this was a real ass graveyard?

We’ll never know! It gets very vague from here on out!

(read more under the cut)

First off, I’d like to welcome our new guest star--the Rain--there’s a lot of rain in this episode, and we animate it by just making all of our characters glow. This comes through fine in animation, but in caps I just want you to know that no one has gone super Saiyan, they’re just...wet.

PS get a gander at Raphael’s baby boy mutton chop mustache. They somehow got longer with time? And also, when soaked his hair is just as spiky. Everyone on this show has unparalleled hair gel. The real heart of the cards.

Anyway, Dartz shows Raphael a bunch of gravestones and is like “Get it???”

and me, the audience, was like “no???”

The headstones, by the by, aren’t...normal, either, they have Orichalcos symbols on them instead of words. So like...it sort of infers that his family was taken by Orichalcos, too. I mentioned before that it sorta feels like Dartz caused the whole shipwreck to munch up a bunch of yummy souls, and maybe he did in the Japanese version--cuz like...

...why else do all these headstones have Orichalcos symbols on this graveyard that you can only access through a card god like Dartz or Yami?

Just throwing that deep lore out there, and the fact that Raphael can’t really see it or understand is either because that didn’t happen or...Dartz totally killed his family, right? And that makes this relationship between the two of them extremely effed up?

This is a great show for kids with separation anxiety.

Which is...somewhat convincing of a motive for Raphael. He gives Raphael a way to move on from his trauma in the past, and it’s not a GREAT way to move on--but it’s falls in line with things Dartz has done with his other card generals by offering false redemption.

Like Mai needed to move on from her insane jealousy, so Orichalcos was her way to prove she was better than Joey Wheeler (which, honestly, no one needed proof of). Alister needed to move on from his dead brother, so Orichalcos was his way to get revenge. Valon also had a backstory but a bunch of it got deleted in the English version apparently so...

And Rex and Weevil needed...cards? I guess? I think they just needed a ride, mostly. And Orichalcos can give you a ride. It’s not like we had Uber in 2003 and clearly they were not fit for Caltrain.

And like Gurimo.............existed...?

Anyways, they’re looking for justice that they can see. Justice for their pain. To make that pain worth something for more than just suffering. A system where this type of thing can’t happen anymore. But the thing about justice is that...eh...it’s probably not done through cards that kill people.

OH OK, KID’S SHOW.

Mmmmm take in that burying up your grave imagery. Again, this show is rated Y7 for 7 year olds, and I think that’s amazing.

Anyway, this is symbolism that is so heavy handed that it really needs no explanation, so he’s just gonna dig dig dig for...days I guess? Relive his trauma over and over again? Dig up that past like you’re a popular artist on twitter and you gotta make all of your followers relive that time you got called out because you offended a hell ton of people?

(Which is so many people on art twitter right now, ps, you don’t even know which one I’m talking about because It’s SO MANY of them. Art twitter during Quarantine is like watching the fall of Rome but it’s freakin Art Twitter. Everyone’s the freakin worst and just poopin all over themselves as they roll all the way down the steps.)

But I want to know. Who’s grave this is? It has a slightly different meaning if it were his family’s or his own. I guess I’ll have to save it for the fanfiction.

And so to add another level of spook, Raphael’s card mom shows up and kinda just stands there with a sad face?

Raphael’s reaction to seeing his card just alive and hanging out was “I’ll get to you in a sec, I gotta do some unforgivable evil, first.“

WHERE DID THEY GO?

These two shots are like nearly back to back. They’re just GONE. No explanation.

And yes I’m gonna talk about the outfit because it makes no freakin sense, even for a Yugioh card. Granted, this was a show made in Japan, for kids, with a budget that had a limit. A lot of people get involved with these productions, many aren’t artists or historians versed in American History, just basic ass business people. That be TV.

But her outfit looks waaay too modern. Like she’s gonna go to a musical festival, drop acid and climb on top of a statue and take a bunch of instagram selfies and regret all of them 4 years later. If these are Atlantean cards, this is not an Atlantis outfit to match with Dartz, who has been dressed vaguely medieval. So whyyyyy would this girl be dressed more like a vague old western costume bought at a discount so she could vogue in front of installation art at Burning Man in 2008?

Anyway, I won’t even get into the bird that is slowly devouring her face as a stand in for a headdress or wtv. Just a lot of stuff happening here and I just wanna say, Yugioh did it so you won’t need to. Just delete that desire. Yugioh already did it so you are now free from wanting to draw...anything like this problematic situation on your own OCs.

And then Yugioh predicts exactly how I’d feel about this outfit.

And she then lights ON FIRE and falls dead into the grave he just buried for her.

And in case you were like “kinda on the nose there, Yugioh, that got DARK” she climbs out of his own grave with a spooky ass face and no more coconuts to share with her bros and he’s like...

Rapheal’s reaction was like...Ya OK I can get used to this, and Yami is just pointing at the scene desperately trying to follow Raphael’s brain waves.

And like, this is YAMI.

Yami just walked through Yugi Hell earlier today. He’s seen some stuff. He’s already undug his own grave this morning in a more poetic card sort of way. But Raphael’s memories of literally digging up his family’s graves with his bare hands because Dartz told him to was...stuff he didn’t want to see today. (especially since it’s super suggested Dartz was the one who...murdered them in the first place, like I know it’s a reach but...it just feels like we were supposed to reach that conclusion)

But whether or not Dartz put the bodies here or gave Raphael a bunch of phoney graves, Raphael is still essentially siding with the guy who ruined the only thing he has left of his family--this paper card mom--and turned it into an undead evil Mom. And it just had...no freakin impact on Raphael at all.

Like what?

He just murdered your card mom. This is fine?

Card shenanigans continue and Raphael eventually realizes what he should have realized like 10 years ago when he was digging up graves and killing card Mom’s. That maybe it’s a bad idea. So Raphael decides to sacrifice his remaining monsters to “free” them from the graveyard and basically commits suicide. There’s no other way to say it, really. He kills himself.

But wait, right when you figure this episode will end like every other Orichalcos fight before it...They decide not to.

Like an angel from heaven, our drunk ass looking music concert reject descends from the clouds, along with all of Raphael's dead family members!

Yeah.

I REALLY didn’t expect them to show up. This was so much content it’s like...an entire season of any other TV show. I say that a lot with Yugioh but these episodes really like to just jam-pack it in there.

And here I thought I’d actually have to take them off the Death Count one day. Here I thought 4 kids would do something to like...prevent this many dead kids, but I was wrong.

Everyone’s HELLA DEAD.

it’s both vindicating to actually say that, despite 4kids, these kids absolutely died, but also disturbing because even Raphael is like “ah, the hallucinations today are really swell, right?”

NO, GHOST CHILD.

DON’T TELL ME THAT.

And I’ve been over before how “heart of the cards” is a catch-all phrase that can mean literally anything in this show, and it’s not the first time that cards have kept someone’s spirit around. No word on his family members if they are thrilled to be trapped in a Pharaoh situation, or whether they only occasionally drop from the heavens, or whether they have actually been the spirit that was within each of these cards the whole time. I don’t know.

And so the card family “cures” one of the most evil people on this show.

He’s fine now. This guy murdered the hell out of Yugi, our main character, but don’t think nor worry about it. This isn’t the show to worry about such things.

This show has Marik.

Bro and I were talking Star Wars the other day, and mostly about the Kylo Ren arc and how a lot of people happened to dislike that particular ending. Mostly about how there is a difference between your character being redeemed and being forgiven. I think this children’s show wants to redeem Raphael, but honestly, much like Kylo Ren--he’s just forgiven. And that’s fine. You don’t need to have your characters redeemed. We can stop at forgiveness.

And also, Yami forgives him immediately because he knows he can’t throw a single damn stone, his house is made out of 2 mm of extremely problematic glass.

Man, RIP Weevil, right?

Weevil who just pretended to rip up a card that could have been Yugi and got tossed off the freakin Caltrain? Raphael got off so freakin lucky and I am boggled he’s still alive. He freakin killed Yugi!

The injustice to Weevil right now, omg. Not like I enjoy Weevil. I super don’t enjoy that character. But DAMN. Yami murdered Weevil for even mentioning Yugi. Just feels like there’s a bit of a hypocritical line here in how the justice is dished out and...that tracks for a Pharaoh so I’ll just let it go.

And also, looking at that sunshine and I’m pretty sure they’ve been up over 48 straight hours. No one’s slept since Yugi died, right? I mean Yami is fine. We know from Bakura that puzzle people don’t need to sleep, or eat, or have blood in their body. But like Seto really needs to get Mokuba to bed.

(Although I am 85% positive that Mokuba is still part Noah Kaiba so it is...also unlikely that kid sleeps anymore, just leaving Mokuba’s future therapist so much to unpack.)

The GALL of this show right now.

Of all the generals--they saved RAPHAEL? Arguably the worst one?

I would take even Alister. I would take even Weevil.

Raphael?

I mean if he ends up as the next Duke Devlin, just driving us around for the final season of this show I guess I’ll accept this but, damn.

Raphael?

Are you sure, Yugioh???????????????????????????????????

Can’t we just let that guy die? He’s basically dead already, Yugioh. This guy does NOT want to be alive anymore. Literally everyone he cares about is super dead and now he doesn’t even have Card mom because she sacrificed herself to save his soul. This GUY.

I can’t believe Mai is dead but we still have Raphael.

The same disappointment when I watch British Bake off, man, they just...sometimes they save people and I’m like...no man...that one can’t bake. Just because they pulled something off last second does not mean they get to the semifinals. Raphael can’t bake.

Anyway, the episode attempts to end on a cliffhanger but like.

Just want to reiterate how common and boring Earthquakes usually are to a Californian. This was the most normal thing in this episode.

Man.

Freakin Raphael.

Anyway, if you just got here and is like “I don’t know who the hell Raphael even is,” Yeah, I know, I didn’t think twice about the dude until like just now, but if it’s because you’ve never seen my recaps before, I’ll direct you to the link to read these in Chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

Anyway, stay safe and have a very happy and safe Halloween alone eating your own carmel dipped apple slices.

[juuls]

Pinned: Writing Updates

Hiya folks! ^_^ With this new pinned post feature, I figured it would be a good spot to put updates on how my writing is going (or not). As most of you know, mental and physical illness and recovery keep me from writing either quickly or easily, and I know that bothers or puts off some of you. Believe me, I feel guilty a lot of the time I’m not writing, but I know that nobody wants me to feel like this is a job, that I should enjoy what I do, and I try my best to just relax and let the writing come to me. It has always been a grueling task for me, and my words fight me, but I choose to see this as a labour of love. Thank you, everyone, for your support (and for holding up my fragile, rebuilding, self-confidence/ego :P). Managing chronic pain and illnesses along with fairly rapid-cycling Bipolar II makes things a bit messy, but I keep pushing because writing (and you amazing readers) means so much to me. 💜

UPDATE September 4th: see below “Read More”

Previous update, August 21st: Still only about 2400 words into chapter 28 of Cross, and I deleted Hurricane due to reasons but will be working on it bit by bit to instead post it as a single-chapter fic later on when people aren’t so busy anymore. Means I can focus on Cross though, which is all people want from me anyway. S’all good! Looking forward to moving that story along anyway.

Still have @grlie-girl’s Mansom fic, which is an MTH-adjacent fic. But then that’s it! Then I’ll start back up on Deliverance, my Stuckony kidfic, and keep moving Cross along. :) I’ve also been doing quite a lot of brainstorming for my original fiction series, which will be a combo SciFi-Fantasy series with magic and tech both, along with an eventual triad relationship! I’m really excited for it, even if it takes me decades more to write. xD

Works in Progress:

Hanging From a Cross of Iron: Fem!Tony Stuckony, time travel and soulmate AU. Just posted chapter 27 on July 19th! Yay! I’m about 2400 words into chapter 28 and I’m forging ahead as mental and physical health allows. But I think... maybe before the end of August? Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and patience!

Stony MTH fic for @ishipallthings: Fem!Tony Stony, Pacific Rim AU. Natasha Stark/Steve Rogers (Earth-3490) Get Together fic. @sparkly-angell is awesome and helping me by being a soundboard and beta. 5-15k. Will post it all together at a later date instead of chapter by chapter.

Deliverance: Stuckony kid fic, post-Avengers but in the alternate timeline that occurs after Avengers: Endgame. Have not forgotten about this, but it dropped in priority once I sorta over-committed myself to MTH, whoops. I’ll be back to this, though. :)

Gift fic for @grlie-girl, Mansom: (Marta/Ransom) from Knives Out. Dirty, filthy, femme!Domme Sugar Mama post-canon oneshot. I may need a second account to post this pile of filthy hot lava. ;)

Recently Finished Works:

Thread Work: Stuckony wingfic featuring Tony’s sister Darcy, written for MTH.

Ten Days: PepperStuckony bodyguard AU written for MTH for @tehroserose and @astudyinsolitude-writes.

Bad: a ShockStuckony get-together, meddling matchmaker Darcy fic, written for MTH.

I will try to keep this up to date but sometimes I’ll forget. Check back occasionally to see if I’m any closer to updating! I love all of my readers and commenters, and am so blessed to have you choose to read my work. Thank you so much. So so much. I’m sorry for the wait, but I’m a comeback kid, I promise. Sending love, and be safe and healthy and good to those around you.

Love, <3 Juulna

UPDATE September 4th: I’m going to put up a separate post, probably, but what’s going on is this... I obviously have Bipolar II and have learned to ride the ups and downs pretty well in recent years, even if some things still surprise me on occasion. But what I’ve never been able to properly treat or learn to deal with is anxiety. I’ve always had GAD (general anxiety) but it’s been untreated since I had so much other shitty health to focus on. Prioritization, right? And I needed all my faculties to not end up dead at the hands or by the gun of my ex. Then, after I left, I was making strides in recovering from the severe abuse and trauma at my ex-husband’s hands, sharp tongue, and actions from July 2017 until... well, it’s still an ongoing process, but this whole year, part of 2019 too, has been a lot better on the healing front. The strides I was making helped me focus on things other than my anxiety, but after dealing with those things, the anxiety started crawling insistently in.

Didn’t help that I finally felt up to checking out what was going on in the world more often. And it’s been good for me, it has... in that I’ve become better educated in the awfulness of the world, which has allowed me to call out racists, ‘Truthers’, and other asshole bigots who remind me of my ex. The downside of all that is that I am way over-empathetic and am appalled at the absolute.... *makes incoherent helpless noises*... just, appalled at EVERYTHING. And I am afraid. And worried. And angry. And a slew of other words that I’m sure every one of you get. You’re all intelligent; you know what’s going on in the world.

And sometimes I devolve into apathy, sometimes sleepless nights (I get about 16-20 hours of sleep a WEEK right now, which should be in the 40-60 hour range, frankly), increased pain on top of the fuckton I’m already in, worsening migraines, dizziness, and the intrusive thoughts of my bipolar depression keep telling me there’s an easy way out of this all. That’s when I knew I needed to do something. So sitting down with my loving father and my caring psychotherapist, I put together a list of my symptoms, what I wanted to tackle most, what I was willing to let go, how all of it interacted (cocktail medications, which I’m already on, can be dangerous and deadly), and then put together a proposal for my doctor, who’s been my family practitioner for two decades.

When you hit the point of panic attacks weekly, and not being able to sleep, even with a double dose of your sleep medication... when you don’t want to watch the things that bring you some modicum of joy for fear of aspects reminding you about the real world... when you wish you simply didn’t exist anymore... you need help. I needed help, and I won’t shy away from discussing that in a public setting, for the simple fact that someone who reads this might need to hear that it’s not the end all be all, not the end of the line, not the end of your life. So with the support of my father and my therapist, who I spoke to last night and this morning, respectively, in advance of my doctor’s appoint this afternoon... My doctor listened attentively to me and gave me permission to go on benzodiazepines again. I will be taking one daily, the one that doesn’t have nearly as great a spike of effect, but lasts longer and steadier, and will also be taking the other, spikier one, as the equivalent of a rescue inhaler for the next panic attack.

I’m not trying to hide from what’s going on in the world. But there is a line I need to learn to respect in how much news I look for, how I consume it, and how I let myself run away with myself at any injustice I see. And fuck, there is a lot. I will still be keeping abreast of the news, still educating myself, still engaging in discussions with people I trust to be kind to my mental state as best they can in the situation, and other things. This will simply make it so I don’t devolve into an incoherent mess of a breakdown/panic attack, and most importantly it will keep me from suicide. It’s never been much of a threat for me, but lately...? Let’s just say I am a bit more concerned than usual.

Gotta love brains, eh? Mental illness sucks. But this is one way I can take control. Other ways include the Nutrisystem diet I recently started, going for regular walks with my pupper and dad, reading 42 Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and counting in 2020, breathing exercises, removing harmful elements from my life even if that pains me in the moment... I’m making progress in other areas.

But what does this mean for my writing? Well. Good question. The last few times I took the stronger of these two medications (on a more daily, vs rescue, basis), well, I didn’t write hardly at all. I have hopes for being able to write during this, with the more steady medication, but I also have to feel happy to write, and the state of the world isn’t going to give me much opportunity to feel that for months yet, if not years (go and goddamn vote)... so yeah. But I realized that I don’t put myself first in big ways like this. And this time I need to. If the writing happens, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t? Well, I’ll settle for less anxiety and not being dead, and I hope that that’s okay with y’all. I know it’s frustrating when a favourite author takes ages to update, and I’ve always been fairly guilty of that... but you all know that I ALWAYS come back. That’s what I do. I love this community, this fandom, my beta, my readers... you make it all worth coming back to.

So please, all I ask is that you be patient with me. I’m experiencing a pretty severe mental health crisis and not holding on too solidly. But I’m thinking of you. Thinking of all of you, and just how much I appreciate you.

With love,

Juulna / Meg

[ahyesthesufferingoftvteens]

Just the Way You Are

I decided to IDK...write a ReeKai fic...cause why not?

Letting y’all know I might regret writing this tomorrow and might delete it, IDK XD.

Rated T for some swearing.

So here, have this bullshit I wrote in three days:

“...Hey...Kai’s been acting weird lately, don’t you think?”

Adam’s question startled Reeve.

He was, once again, extremely close with his old friends Mira and Adam. The entire “second round” incident, as everyone liked to call it, changed his relationship with the two for the better, especially with Adam. The two fought way less than they did before he even eavesdropped on their conversation with Mira.

He was also fairly close with Vanessa as well. He looked passed her mistakes, and she’s been a pretty chill person to hang out with. All three of these people, he could say with confidence, he could read pretty well. He could usually tell how they felt with each moment.

...Him and Kai though...

He could tell that Kai was also pretty close with Mira and Adam, and they’ve developed a special sibling bond with Vanessa it seems. But despite the fact that both of them are very close with the same friends...they never really interacted with each other.

Sure, him and Kai would sometimes converse with each other, but it wasn’t often, and always with the others, where it was more a group chat than anything. Him and Kai were simply acquaintances. Acquaintances that got along pretty well, but it never became anything more than that. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in getting to know the red-head better...it just kind of...never happened. The two only ever saw each other when someone from the group was also around.

Adam’s question startled Reeve because, unlike the others, who probably instantly noticed these changes Adam was referring to, Reeve only realized the change in that exact moment. Because he wasn’t close to Kai, he didn’t pay attention to him much. It was only when he quickly looked back at his interactions with Kai this month that he realized that, yes, Kai was acting a bit strange.

The dork was the type to stick chopsticks up his mouth and make walrus noises as a joke. The type to develop gadgets that had a 50/50 chance of either working spectacularly or burn the house down. Luckily he had his fire controlling powers, which he gloated about every 10 minutes or so. Kai was a fucking nerd, but not in a bad way, at least to Reeve. Kai’s quirks were charming.

...Lately however, Kai had begun to quiet down. He spoke less often, and the topics he brought up were a lot more general. “Have you heard of the latest Movie Weirdie implemented! A cult classic! I’ve always wanted to watch it!” Was replaced with, “So how was your day?” He gloated less, he didn’t do the stupid chopstick thing anymore, and most importantly...he looked sad.

“...Now that I think about it...yeah...he kind of has...” Reeve responded, shifting his comfortable position on Adam’s couch, and pausing Fire emblem on his switch.

Adam had returned from his trip to the kitchen, placing the last bowl of popcorn onto the nearby coffee table. 5 in total, for five people. It was movie night, and the others haven’t arrived yet. “I want to talk with him later...ask him what’s going on. I’m worried, he isn’t himself.”

“So why haven’t you?” Reeve questioned his best friend, who sighed and shook his head, collapsing into the couch behind him, and pushing Reeve’s feet out of the way. “I’ve been trying to speak with him in private for a week now. He always has some sort of excuse. Heck, sometimes he even says he has to leave early! Remember a few days ago at the fair, when Kai announced his parents called and he needed to go home to deal with some issues? That was directly after I asked him if we could talk in private near the river.”

Reeve narrowed his eyes at this piece of information. It was definitely worrying. “...Suspicious.” Reeve commented. “...What do you think could be wrong though-”

“Sup guys!” Shouted a familiar, lilting voice, who barged through the door and appeared from the doorway to the living room. Vanessa was, as usual, stylishly dressed for the occasion. Mira, meanwhile, who followed shortly behind, was dressed for comfort first. “...You two look gloomy. Is something wrong?” Mira inquired.

The girls were quickly filled in by Adam, who both instantly agreed with his reasoning. “Yeah, Kai has been acting strange lately!” Vanessa sighed out, gently massaging her neck. “I’ve asked him time and time again if he was OK and every time I ask he looks more and more depressed!”

“...Yeah, something’s definitely off about Kai...especially since he texted me he’s not coming over a few minutes ago.”

Everyone gawked at Mira’s confession.

Kai never missed movie night. Everyone had opted out at least once, but not him. Kai was the one that started the entire thing in the first place! And he used to pick all the movies before they all established a rotation system recently.

This night would have been Kai’s turn to pick the movie, but he surprisingly declined. “I don’t have anything good I can think of right now. Sorry! Vanessa can go ahead and pick one.” Was what they remembered him saying. That alone was weird, but ditching movie night? Absolutely bizarre!

“...That’s it.” Adam grumbled, abruptly sitting up from his couch. “I’m driving to Kai’s house.”

“Adam you’re grounded right now, you can’t go anywhere outside of the house.” Mira reasoned as she crossed her arms. Adam wasn’t convinced. “My parents would understand!” He stated.

“One of your parents teaches math, which you are failing right now. It’s a miracle they even let you host movie night in the first place with how much they want you to study right now.” Vanessa’s comment silenced Adam, and after a moment, he flopped back down onto the couch, grumbling about how it wasn’t fair that he was grounded for the week just for getting a few Ds on his recent tests. Those were flukes!

“...I’ll go check on him?”

Mira, Vanessa, and Adam turned to Reeve, who had placed his switch on the coffee table. He looked perfectly calm on the outside, but on the inside, he was beginning to panic.

Why did he suggest that?! Mira’s much more suited to this kind of comfort stuff, not him! He’s not that close to Kai anyways! He simply wasn’t the right person for the job!

...But...this was an excuse to finally try and connect with Kai...Was that why?

“...You sure?” Mira questioned, confusion clear with her furrowed eyebrows. “Because...I can go instead, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine.” Reeve reassured his other friend, sealing his fate and lifting himself off the oh so comfortable couch. “...Just...tell me where he lives...”

Huge.

Kai really was rich off his ass, as he had heard from the others. The mansion was huge, and the front yard was spectacularly decorated. For a moment he just sat there, admiring the scene before him.

But then he saw...was was it called, a gazebo? Close by the front of the house, and in it, he could see Kai’s body, lying lazily along the benches inside.

It was only when he sprinted closer, out of worry, that he realized Kai was actually awake. They stared blankly at nothing, their eyes dull. They looked almost as if their mind was in a completely different world.

Now that Reeve was directly standing in front of the entrance, He could now see Reeve. It only took his name being called for the red-head to snap out of his trance. He looked absolutely confused, his eyes bulging. He abruptly stood up from the bench and cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. “...R-Reeve!” He laughed out awkwardly. “...Didn’t expect to see you here. Didn’t know you knew where I lived!”

“I...didn’t...Mira gave me your address a few minutes ago.” Reeve answered. Kai raised an eyebrow at this, but didn’t comment, simply muttering a small “oh” under his mouth.

Awkward silence hung between the two, slowly suffocating them until Kai formed another question in his brain. “...So uh...” He began, trailing his fingers along the gazebo fence. “...Why are you here? I mean...it’s movie night after all...don’t you want to hang out with the others?”

Reeve was quick to explain. “We were all worried when you said you weren’t coming, it’s not like you...so I came over to check on you.”

“...Oh! That’s...really nice of you!” Kai remarked, showcasing an overly cheerful smile. “But I’m fine really! I just have some stuff to do at home! Real busy you know! I have to help prepare the mansion for some guests that are coming over tomorrow! Wish I could come!”

An obvious lie. “...Oh, so you’re taking a break right now?”

Kai nearly choked at Reeve’s reasoning, but quickly regained composure and nodded vigorously. “Y-Yeah! I have around 10 to 20 more minutes before I have to get back to work!”

Awkward staring was met with awkward staring.

...

...

...

The tension is mind-crushing, holy shit.

Kai cleared his throat, avoiding Reeve’s gaze. “So, anyways, you should probably drive back to Adam’s place! I don’t want to interrupt your fun! Tell the others I’m fine-”

“I-It’s not just that!”

Kai’s smile faltered a bit. He seemed more than shocked. “...Oh...um...” He scratched his head, and let out a strained laugh. “...What’s up?”

“...I just...I want to say I’m sorry for being mean to you, back in the first round...and...I want to get to know you better.” He explained. Although that wasn’t the main reason he was here...he couldn’t say his excuse to stay was a lie either. “We don’t...we haven’t really hung out that much...y’know? Figured now would be a good time...to just...chat.” Don’t break your stone cold demeanor now Reeve. You have a reputation to uphold. “...So...Is it OK if I come inside? I won’t be a bother or anything. I told everyone they could start the movie without me...they picked a shitty one anyways.”

Fuck, he was so nervous. Why? This isn’t like him...maybe it’s a result of the awkwardness from before. It was screwing with him.

Kai stood stiff as a rock, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at Reeve intently.

It was only after a few moments of silence that Kai finally nodded a slow, small yes, fidgeting with his shirt sleeves.

“...O...k.”

Reeve wasn’t much of a tea person. Yet here he was, sipping some freshly prepared chamomile tea. It was weird, how it actually didn’t taste as bad as the batch his grandma made him try once.

He watched Kai almost gather all the ingredients for a chocolate shake, but then put them all back in their proper places and made some hibiscus tea instead. He didn’t seem to enjoy it that much, as he took a small sip and sat stiffly on an armchair.

They were in some sort of fancy, parlor room. Wide, spacious, and rather modern styled. Reeve himself was sitting in the armchair opposite to Kai, a coffee table separating the two.

For a good while they just asked random questions about each other. Reeve indulged, mostly so he could eventually transition to the main reason he was here. “What’s your favorite color?” Was the first question Kai asked, which showed just how tense they both were. He obviously responded with red, and Kai responded with blue.

“...Weird, considering your power, I figured you’d like a more warm color.” Reeve commented. Kai shrugged in response. “I don’t think about aesthetic choice when it comes to power choosing...it’s more what complements my team.”

“...Have you...ever had any pets?”

“...What is this some weird version of twenty questions?” Kai giggled out, rubbing his hand against his face. “...God we’re...so awkward...”

Reeve, for some reason, couldn’t help but chuckle a bit in response. “...I mean, we don’t know each other that well, so might as well get the basic facts down...” Reeve reasoned. Kai seemed to agree, with the small smile he gave. “I had a pet cockatoo named Chipper when I was...around 8? They...flew out of my window when I was 10...I never saw them again...you?”

“Pet-less all my life...I remember when I was like...a toddler, I constantly begged my parents to let me get a cat...but it never happened.”

Back and forth, back and forth. Question after question was answered. And slowly, Reeve noted just how different him and Kai were.

Kai wasn’t that close to his parents, and vice versa. Reeve’s parents were over-doting, constantly hovering over him like a helicopter. Kai was obviously extroverted despite his awkward tendencies, and Reeve was more introverted. He liked his alone time. Kai could explain any and every piece of tech, not only due to his powers, but because those were his interests. Reeve was more the artsy type. He didn’t know what to do with a gadget, but he liked to sketch in a notebook he has at home.

Kai and him were almost opposites, counterparts. The only things they had in common were their love for video games and comic books, and their similar friends. These differences intrigued Reeve a lot. He saw a side of the world that Kai had lived in his entire life.

“Oh come on, superman would totally win in a fight with batman! It would take me more than a minute to list all of his powers!”

“Superman is too good-natured to kill someone and Batman is not. It’s not about powers, it’s about will, and Batman has the will that Superman doesn’t.”

Kai let out an annoyed huff, and crossed his arms. “...I mean, I guess it depends, Some of the comics portray Superman as the winner while in others Batman wins. The comic writers can’t make up their minds either...My favorite showdown between them was probably in...Justice League Origi...”

The way Kai trailed off at the end concerned Reeve, greatly. He looked shameful, like He made a grave mistake. Fidgeting with his shirt sleeves. Kai attempted an awkward smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes. “...But I mean...you’re probably not interested in me ranting about that, sorry...”

Reeve remembers seeing Kai do this before.

He’d speak about a topic he was passionate about, pour his entire soul into it, and then just...shut down, discarding the topic like some embarrassing photo he didn’t want people to see.

“...Hey...” Reeve spoke up. It was now or never. “...Are you sure you’re ok?”

Kai jumped at the question, and attempted to wave Reeve’s concern away with a forced giggle. “Oh, I’m fine! I just don’t want to annoy you! Let’s change the subject-”

“Don’t lie to me Kai.” Reeve growled out, silencing Kai’s excuse. “You’ve been acting weird this entire month. You haven’t been yourself at all. Everyone is worried about you.”

What Reeve didn’t expect was for Kai’s expression to harden, and for him to glare daggers at his lap. “...So that’s why you’re here huh...” He accused lowly. “Tell our friends who sent you here that I’m fine. Ok? There’s nothing wrong.”

“...Kai.” Reeve began his explanation. He was confused that Kai would assume he was doing this because he had no choice. “I volunteered to come over. I’m not doing this against my will-”

“Bullshit!” Kai stood up from his armchair, tears threatening to escape his eyes as he breathed heavily. ““I want to get to know you better” My ass! Why would you...” Kai trailed off for a moment, the tears spilling down his cheeks. “...Why would you want to hang out with me? The worthless fifth wheel of this group...why would...you want to be friends with someone like me.”

Muffled sobs filled the room as Kai hid his face into his hands and attempted to control his crying. It took a while for Reeve to process everything Kai said, but before long he had stood up from his armchair and walked towards Kai,hesitantly gripping his arms. Kai flinched at first, but didn’t struggle.

“...I...” Kai sobbed out in his hands. “...I’ve been trying to be more likeable...be less annoying for you all-”

“Is that what this is all about?” Reeve questioned softly. Kai nodded hesitantly. “...Kai...We don’t think you’re annoying at all. Everything about you is distinctly you. We love those parts about you...” Reeve, after a moment of reluctance, cupped Kai’s cheeks, and slowly coerced Kai to removed their hands from their face. “I mean, even I think you’re great...You’re quirks are charming.”

“...I-I thought...I thought you of all people hated me...” Kai strained out, small hiccups erupting from his throat as his snot filled face was shown for Reeve to see. “I think you’re really cool, you know that? You’re calm, and collected, and you read the mood well. You never make a fool of yourself. I was...never a worthy replacement for you, and now that you’re back...” Kai jerked his head away, and hid it from Reeve’s view as it faced the ground. “Adam and Mira...don’t need me anymore...I mean...that’s why they picked me to be in their team. There was an opening, and I was available...”

Reeve's heart tightened at Kai’s comment, as they stared intently at the floor, avoiding his gaze. He was partially responsible for Kai’s current insecurities. He couldn’t help but wonder, if he had tried to get to know Kai better earlier on, would this situation have happened in the first place?

His stern expression faltered, and was replaced with a guilty frown. “...Kai...I....hey, look at me.” He once more had to lift their head up, which they resisted at first, but eventually complied, and stared directly at Reeve, threatening to crumble at the sincere gaze they were met with.

“Listen...whoever told you these things, you need to stop listening to them right now.” Reeve commanded, almost begged. “You are not just my replacement. You were never that. If Mira and Adam secretly think so, then fuck them. You are you, and you aren’t going to make yourself happy by changing your very core, the thing that makes you you, just to please others. That happiness is only going to come if you love yourself, good and bad.”

The advice just came flowing through him. To him it was simple logic, and it wasn’t sure if it would even help, but according to Kai’s absolutely shocked expression. He supposed he at the very least reached Kai’s heart with those words.

“...Love myself?” Kai nearly whispered. Reeve was quick to nod a yes.

“...How?”

It was a question that left Reeve stuck in place for a good minute, as he removed his hands from Kai’s body, and massaged his temples for inspiration, for an idea that would answer Kai’s question.

Eventually though, that idea came in a flash, and he snapped his fingers, gripping Kai’s hand, much to their surprise. “Not that I’m an expert on this stuff but, let’s try something real quick. I’ll drive you there.”

“...Reeve, I don’t know about this...” Kai muttered as he stood on the thick railing of a bridge, which created a path over a chest deep river.

Reeve sat close by, on the same railing, his phone in hand. “...Listen, just, you know those pep-talks people give themselves while staring at a mirror?” Kai was quick to nod a yes, and Reeve continued. “...I want to you shout about all your good qualities on this bridge.”

“W-what!?” Kai shrieked out, earning the attention of the few passersby on the bridge. “T-there are people here Reeve I-I can’t...o-oh god they’re staring-”

“Sometimes you have to push yourself to extremes. The point of this is to teach you how to not give a fuck about what other people think about you.”

“B-but what do I say? I...don’t have anything nice to say about myself.”

“...Hey...just look at me for a minute...” And Kai did so, finding himself somewhat relaxed by Reeve’s chill energy. “Just shout the first good thing that comes to mind. Don’t try to deconstruct, just say it first thing...you got this.”

Kai, which shaking legs, slowly nodded, slowly breathed in, and shut his eyes tight. “...I have pretty hair!”

The red-head felt a brief moment of relief, before he peaked an eye open, beholding the groups of eyes that stared intently at him, judging his overly loud self-compliment. Immediately he crouched down, hiding his face, but felt a warm, firm hand on his shoulder.

Turning his head to the side a bit, he saw Reeve, still in that same spot, his eyes non-judging. “...The world didn’t end, did it?”

Kai looked around the bridge once more, and everyone went on with their lives. He wasn’t torn apart for his supposed sin. The world didn’t explode. He was fine.

Most importantly, Reeve himself didn’t think of him any less. “You’re not wrong you know.” Reeve reassured, focusing his attention on his phone once more. “Auburn’s a pretty color.”

On Reeve’s phone, was a text he had recently sent to Mira, along with a few replies.

Reeve: Had a talk with Kai, but he aint goin to come, we talkin things out, he’ll be fine

Mira: I’m super glad he’s doing better, but PLEASE CONVINCE HIM TO COME AND PICK A MOVIE!?!

Mira: VANESSA PICKED SPICE WORLD JUST FOR THE KICKS!!! PLEASE HELP US!?!

“H-hey!” Kai gained Reeve’s attention from his phone, and he raised an eyebrow, ready to hear what Kai had to say.

“...You can help out you know!” They said with a bright blush, late evening sky glowing his face. “...C-could you...compliment me more? Please?”

Reeve in that moment was completely consumed in the moment, studying each feature of the boys face.

“...You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

His complement escaped his throat without a single breath, or thought. Kai’s eye’s widened and sparkled at the sentence he quickly regretted saying out loud.

...But then Kai smiled...like...truly smiled. Letting out the most charming laugh he had ever heard. When he saw how happy they were, he instantly ceased his regret.

“I-I can’t! Y-you can’t be serious!” Kai accused in near tears, wiping his eyes and tilting his head ever so slightly. “Y-you’re joking right? Me? Cute? No way-”

“Dude I know plenty of friends who would die for the opportunity to have a cup of coffee with you.” Reeve justified his statement, a wide smirk on his face as he elbowed Kai. “Remember what this is about man. You heard me say it! Now you go say it to the world. Stand up already!”

Kai nodded, and quickly stood straight up. “I’m absolutely adorable!” He said without hesitation. Slowly opening his eyes, they sparkled with excitement, and he let out a soft giggle.

Reeve’s phone dinged, signaling another text from Mira, but Reeve ignored it. He shoved the phone in his pocket as he admired the boy before him.

You really are...

You’re amazing just the way you are...

[knightofameris]

—𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬—

◦ 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ◦ 𝑠𝑜𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠! ◦ 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠! ◦ 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑒! ◦ 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠!! (𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠!)

𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑠' 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒: blacklist “ameris 500 celebration!” if you don’t want to see any of my posts about this celebration! also if this flops i will cry. jk i won’t but it’ll definitely take a hit on my heart u__u (and if it does flop, you didn’t see this post)

—𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍—

Ahhhh! I’m so amazed that I got to 500 followers despite the fact that I barely?? Post?? And sometimes I just talk about random shit but even then, I still appreciate all of you guys so much? I have a few options on what I have to celebrate and I am so excited heheh. But before I get started I just,,, Have a few more things I’d like to talk about (cus I like to talk LOL). Feel free to skip though!! 

content continued below the cut!! (warning; introduction is long because I just have a lot of thoughts I want to share LOL. seriously, feel free to just skip) 

I know that I only really started posting Haikyuu!! around my 300 mark, and I feel like the people after my 300 mark are the one’s who are active because of how much I come onto tumblr and then disappear. 

If you don’t know this, I’ve actually been writing on Tumblr since 2015/2016. I’ve just changed blogs so many times that it’s like, hey, this is my new blog. Or like, I would write for a few months, disappear, come back but then everyone who followed me was dead so I was like eh I’ll just start again or whatever. And I think this makes me very very soft because out of all the communities I’ve been in, I’ve truly felt more welcome/at home even?? With everyone in Haikyuu? Like yeah there’s shit that goes down every few days or whatever but it’s always so fun to see people interact with each other and though I was hesitant at first (because before this the only writer I’ve ever interacted with was Scout for marvel oop) I’m really glad I reached out to a few of y’all and vice versa. 

But despite that, Marvel will always hold a place in my heart and to everyone who followed me from my Marvel days, thank you for supporting me way back when. And even to my Narnia days (AHAHAHA). I don’t think I would’ve continued writing on tumblr without your guys’ support. I know that younger me appreciated you all for reading those old works (even if I hate my old writing now). 

And to everyone now, thank you for sending in asks or commenting on my works. I actually think I would’ve disappeared by this time from this blog if you guys didn’t interact. I’m not saying I’m writing for the follows or the notes, if that makes sense. But it’s more like, I feel less of a robot that people expect to churn out works. Idk, it makes me feel like a person? And it just gives me a lot more serotnin than you might think!! 

One last thing though, it’s not me saying I expect you guys to always read my work and always comment. It’s more so, I’d actually rather have you guys comment or whatever because you want to and you want to read it. Like on one hand yes it does make me feel appreciated but I also don’t want you to feel obligated or feel guilty of you don’t read my things. No matter what, I will always be writing. It definitely does feel nice tho LOL 

I promise in the future, if I ever do intros they won’t be this long lol. 

Phew. Anyway. 

For this celebration, this is only for Haikyuu!!

—𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒—

I love love love self ships SO much. So I want to hear about your guys’ self ships! 

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

this will only be open from 12am september 23 — 11:59pm september 25 PST 

any requests received before or after will be deleted (may be extended depending on how many requests I get!)

do keep in mind that i’m starting classes soon so it will take me some time to get through this.

send it in through asks or submissions! 

send in as many asks as you’d like

if you use an emoji to show who you are, include it on all asks :3c

nothing nsfw for this, thanks!

since this is a follower celebration,,, i do have to ask that you be following me! honestly, i won’t check if you are, thats too much work on my part but it would mean a lot if you’re following me to participate in this celebration! ); 

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨 [example]

i will be creating two instagram posts with one of them having a comment section (3-4 screenshots)

i might also include a screenshot of your profile and/or your s/o if I can put in more pictures!

chats with your s/o ( heheh (; ) (1-2 screenshots)

chats with your s/o’s team! (1-2 screenshots) (this will possibly be with the entire team or just a select few)

take a look at the example as that’s what i’ve done for a friend of mine!!

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨

send in 1-2 headcanons about you and your s/o

send in a little bit about your personality!!

your pronouns! and a name you’d like to go by!

give me your instagram handle! (not your real one, but what it would be within haikyuu) otherwise, i’ll make a random one based off your name!

what are your ~aesthetics~ 

what phone nickname would u have for your s/o (or any other people on the team) so it can be more personalized! or if ur like me where everyone is just their name besides a select few

do u have particular texting habits?

what’s your favorite animal? this is what I will be putting as your profile picture! alternatively if you submit all of this through my submissions and give me a piccrew, I will use that!

you could give me the most BASIC description, you don’t need to do all of these points, and i’d be fine with that. It’s up to you how much you want this to be personalized <3

(also this one’s not necessary, it’ll just be more ~fun~ but lmk if u wanna be a manager of the team! or if u have ur own little AU so u might have other certain details u want to throw in. otherwise i’m gonna make it a sorta free for all lol)

𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒: hi! my name’s ameris and i ship myself with suga! my pronouns are she/her/hers and i like to think that suga and i have a sort of childhood friends to lovers trope. i also like to think that we go stargazing at least once a month no matter what! my aesthetic is definitely space heh. i’m a little bit like suga where i’m chaos and baby! i curse a lot and i have way too many interests to count but i always like trying new things! my instagram handle would be ameris_stars (dude idk lMAO) and suga’s name in my phone would be Koushi <3 i make a lot of typos and i like using a mix of emojis and emoticons/occasional kaomojis. my favorite animal is a fox or dog!

this,,, is a lot but i’m okay with that! heheh

to protect you, I won’t publish your ask! I will make separate posts titled w/ your name + s/o + emoji (if you use your emoji). If you do it off anon, I will tag you! 

Request List!! If you don’t see your name on here, just submit it again :3c I will not be tagging for the sake of not spamming you guys lol. 

—𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔—

I would love love love to get to know you! So tell me about yourself! 

what’s your favorite color?

who’re your favorite haikyuu characters?

favorite haikyuu teams?

you got any writers you want to give a shout out to?

maybe a little self promo too?

adsfasdfasdflj i will keep bringing this up but like any,,, spice asks,,, about the haikyuu characters cus like,,, lol

horn knee asks will be tagged with: “ameris needs a drink” which honestly sounds like i need an alcoholic drink and at this point, yeah 

please be 18+ if you do send in any spicey asks!!

This can go on for as long as y’all want really, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I’ll just answer these like normal and spread them out too lol

—𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐄—

I have a few ask games I’ve reblogged before, so I have a few linked for you LOL 

intrusive asks 👁👄👁

~space~ asks! (this has a lot more!)

zodiac asks (just about my writing!)

writer’s asks

a little game I got from my friend which I think is absolutely so much fun

this is a version of fuck-marry-kill, but send in THREE characters (this one can be from any mix of my interests!) and I’ll choose which one I’d rather have a fanfic trope with: 

“enemies-to-lovers” 

“childhood friends-to-lovers” 

and “fake dating”

would definitely prefer haikyuu characters

but doing a mix and match from all my interests is a lotta fun

things i used to or am currently into: haikyuu, marvel, bnha, demon slayer, rwby, sailor moon, voltron, dc, overwatch, tales of vesperia, legend of zelda, bungo stray dogs, narnia (lmao), one piece, uhm, i’ll add more if i can think of more, tbh u can even just say random characters and i’ll just google them 

As always though, feel free to ask me any other questions!!

this will also go on for as long as whenever, i’ll probably spread out this one! 

—𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒—

AH. It was lookin a little long so here’s the link to the post :3c (will edit post later!!! when I come back from my exam!!!)

to those who got to the end, omg i’m sorry. i talk so much. but thank you for your support and just getting through this block of words hakdfhkasf